Why Do I Care About You, I Don't Even Know You?

Holy cow, it’s been a while eh? Well it’s been an action-packed six weeks or so for me.

Most of August was spent caring for my significant other as he had to undergo surgery for prostate cancer. Everything eventually turned out ok, and we are monitoring things over the next few months to make sure it isn’t anywhere else. He was in the hospital for almost a week as he had developed an infection, so it was a little stressful.

I also had to get my son home from working at camp in Massachusetts and then get him back to school at NYU. Then had to prepare my 2 daughters for back to high school. I’ve also been crazy busy with my new position as Associate Editor at Rochester Woman Magazine.

Soooo… how’ve you all been?

Other than that stuff, it’s been kind of and emotional week or two. A lot has happened that has little to nothing to do with me but I find it emotional… and I wonder what the hell is wrong with me?

For one, Robin Williams. Enough said. Then Joan Rivers died. I enjoyed watching Fashion Police every Friday night, and her shows after each award show were a must-see. I saw her in a whole new light after I saw a documentary on her about a year ago called “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work”. That woman had been through everything, was educated and had to fight her way into show biz. She worked like a fiend and was a fantastic writer. She wrote every day. She was an entrepreneur who wasn’t happy unless her schedule was full from dusk ’til… dusk. She was a role model and idol to me. I was very sad. I was so sad this week after Martina Navratilova proposed to her girlfriend… Joan would have had a helluva’ joke. She had the best lesbian jokes.

Also a police officer was killed in the line of duty here in my city of Rochester, NY. A 32 year old young man, with 2 young children and a wife. Gunned down by some piece of shit parolee that he was chasing. All kinds of pomp and circumstance and rituals and traditions. Such dignity and honor, somber yet uplifting. Moving, really. But so sad. It really hit my heart hard.

You may have seen the unresponsive plane that went flying through Cuban airspace and then crashed off the coast of Jamaica? The two people in the plane that died were a lovely couple that belonged to our country club and pillars of the community. I was glued to the TV feeling dread while they followed the plane. She built a catalog company from the ground up, he was a millionaire real estate developer that was re-building downtown Rochester. Only in their late 60’s. Just nice decent folks.

Then all the stuff with Ray and Janay Rice. Geez, what do you say? You watch the video and you’re just… in disbelief. You wanna’ knock him out and you want to cry. Then she comes out with that “Why you gotta’ hurt my man and me?” statement and I just wanted to… take her away, or shake her, or tell her how that’s not how she deserves to be treated. I know how hard it is to leave. The batterer threatens the woman that if she leaves he’ll kill her or the kids or himself. Leaving is scary, whether it’s fear for your safety or fear of losing financial stability.  It brought back old memories that just turned my stomach in knots.

So, why do I get so emotional about stuff? I guess maybe because I was born with a caring heart, which sometimes makes me a big ole pushover and let’s others take advantage of me, it also makes me waste energy on caring about people that have no idea who I am. But I guess it’s good, it’s good to feel things, experience a full range of emotions, that’s living life to it’s fullest. It’s also made me a good parent.

Although sometimes I wish I didn’t care because I could probably be further in business. Sociopaths (people who don’t have empathy) are usually the most successful people. It’s true, I read it on the interwebz. I probably also wouldn’t spend more time than I wanted to on men I didn’t really want to date. ha I mean sorry but I’ve had more than my share of pity dates (I’m sure I’ve been the recipient of some too), I’ve also spent much much longer than I wanted to painfully listening to a guy in a bar telling me all about his love of Nickleback (Ack), just because I thought it was rude to walk away. In the meantime, Prince Charming who made a witty remark to me and was waiting for me to come back to the bar had already left. Sad face.

I guess it’s good to have a big heart but it can also be emotionally exhausting. I’ve learned how to curb it, I don’t let it consume me and I don’t bring it up to others (most of the time) because I don’t want to seem like I like to insert myself into emotional stuff just to get attention. Like some sort of Munchausen Syndrome. I bring it up today because well, I’m kind of curious if I’m a freak or not. I’ve always been this way. Tomorrow is 9/11, guaranteed I will have a bout of tears just like I have every 9/11 since 2001. Is that weird? Do I like humans too much? I wish I could give the whole world a hug… and maybe a reach-a-round if they’re lucky.

Maybe it’s just PMS. A lot.

Please take care of yourselves and each other. That is all.


16 thoughts on “Why Do I Care About You, I Don't Even Know You?”

  1. Nelson

    Hi Madge great to hear from you. You’ve been a busy lady. I hope your Summer. I hope your S. O. continues to improve. I got an infection after my prostate biopsy and it was a bitch. Getting one after surgery would be worse. Let him know I sympathize with him and have a great deal of empathy as you know I’m living with prostate cancer. Take care of yourself and I hope you have a better autumn.

  2. TheRecipeHunter

    I hope you and your husband get the best news possible over the next few months. Good thoughts coming your way…

    Oh you are so not a freak….I am right there with ya. From caring to crying to just wanting good things for people, I feel and act the same way. Of course I sometimes get the ‘here we go again’ eyes from my husband at the first sight of tears welling up in my eyes. It can be a good thing, a sad thing, a feel-good story, a commercial with a guy and a horse (Budweiser), a complement, or just my mom that triggers the tears. You’ve got at least one buddy…but I bet there will be more! 😉

  3. Tim

    It’s good to have a great sense of humor when trying to make sense of why a television commercial makes you weep or why it is that there is such a thing as over-caring. In my opinion we could all do a little more over-caring; how bad could that be. The alternative is way worse. I to was hit hard by some recent events. I wasn’t expecting RW’s passing to bother me as much as it did but it did. Very sad. As a consolation at least you got all the bad stuff crammed in to a small window of time and now you can enjoy the rest of the year.

  4. Tatia

    Hi Madge. Stopping by from Blogger Helping Bloggers. There’s certainly nothing wrong with having a caring personality. That’s what makes us human after all. Like you, I was an avid fan of Fashion Police and watched it because of Joan Rivers. No doubt she was a firecracker, and her death particular saddens me because she had so much energy left in her. I’ll need to make time to watch her documentary.

  5. Susan Cooper/findingourwaynow.com

    I do hope you receive the best possible news in the coming months. I so get this and you are not a freak in any way. You are among friends in this for sure.

    I cry at the drop of a hat when something touches me. I find I am always going to the rescue even when that isn’t returned when I am in the most need; that never stops me. So never stop caring, sharing and crying when something moves you. Just my thoughts. 🙂

  6. jacquiegum

    Missed you Madge…glad to see you back and thanks for the update! Holy Cow! From my POV, I think it’s better to error on the side of caring. Maybe more tears and a more twisted gut, but good karma because the benefit of someone like YOU caring is so widespread:) So speaking of caring…I do hope for the best possible outcome for your significant other, too.

  7. andleeb

    I hope that you and your boyfriend will enjoy rest of the year. |It is nice to be caring I think these qualities make us humans.
    The way you were watching Fashion Police, reminds me of my affiliation with some television programs but now I hardly get time to sit in front of TV.

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