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You know that old saying, “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one”? My new version is “Opinions are like bananas, they go bad after a while”
(BTdubs, I really hated this show when my kids were little)
I’ve been dealing with that a lot lately. As I have to make some decisions about my career, finances, living situation, kid’s college futures, etc… everyone has something different to say. And most often it’s the complete opposite of what the last person said.
Oh don’t get me wrong, advice is good. Bouncing things off people is good. We all need to weigh things out. But as you’re weighing and it starts to feel like one of those people from a TLC documentary like “The 900 lb Man” sitting on your chest… wait maybe the 900 lb man riding Mothra… well then it’s time to stop bouncing things off others.
One of the most intelligent things my ex-husband ever said as I was obsessed with the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” books when I was pregnant was, “Throw the damn book away”. Yea, he was right. I was more worked up than a bag of cats tossed down a hill.
When you begin to doubt your own compass is when you need to take a step back. For instance, I have my second child starting to look at colleges. Now my son is going to one of the most expensive colleges in the Universe, NYU. I’m trying to be realistic with my daughter. He got scholarships but will still have a few big loans and the travel expense back and forth adds up. My daughter can certainly apply to her dream schools but we need to weigh things out before accepting. If I can’t afford to bring you home for Thanksgiving, we have a problem. I have some people insisting I send my next two children to state schools or community college for two years then 4 year state school. Uhhhh… no. Nothing against them but state schools really aren’t any cheaper in my circumstance because they don’t give as much aid as private schools do. I just know my kids, comunity college isn’t for them. I started out at one school and was fucking miserable, then I transferred. Some kids, it doesn’t really matter, others it does.
Jesus Christ stop telling me what to do!!!! Aaaaarrgghhhh!!!! I’ve raised these kids for 19 years pretty much on my own and gotten this far, do you think I’m freakin’ stupid? The thing is, I’m a risk taker. I’m not like the people who say “What if?” “What if?” ‘What if?” I’m a “Let’s try it and if we need to change our course, we will” kind of gal. Maybe that wasn’t always the best thing, but at least I didn’t do it with anything crazy like, “Let’s try heroin and just see what happens” or “Let’s just try unprotected sex with this guy who injects meth and see what happens”. (I don’t know, is injecting meth even a thing?)
If you are obsessed with making a move only if you can predict the outcome, then you can become paralyzed. Conversely if you leap without thinking, you can find yourself in a heapload of shit. I say weigh thing out, then take an educated leap of faith. And there’s a lot to be said for gut instinct. (Unless of course you’re a rapist or murderer) I ain’t afraid. But once I’ve made up my mind… leave me the fuck alone. The outcome will eventually be apparent to me, I don’t need your predictive “Mark my words…” bullshit, because shit ain’t happened yet!