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Here it is! My Podcast!

6 Dec

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Northeast Snow Makes Us Heartier Folk Than Warm Weather Wimps

2 Mar

I live in Rochester, NY and I’m sure many of you have heard over the last couple of months that those of us in the Northeast (and some Great Lakes/Midwest states) have had an absolute brutal winter. You’ve either read about it in the news or have seen people bitch about it on social media. I’m here to testify that it’s true… it’s all true. And it sucks. It sucks more than wearing sandpaper underwear.

Facts are facts, Rochester suffered it’s coldest month ever (broke the record held in 1934) with a daily average temp of 12.4 degrees. Add to it, it was one of the snowiest as well. There have been mountains of snow covering the ground since early January. We had several days with below zero temps, some double digit below zero temps! I know a lot of folks with frozen or burst pipes and collapsed roofs. It’s been relentless. I just bought my house in the beginning of January, I’ve had to shovel every. single. day. Sometimes two or three times a day. However, I now have great biceps… but have tennis elbow.

Another pitfall of this not just annoying but dangerous weather is the a-holes on social media that live in warmer climates that say stupid things like “It’s 80 degrees here!” or “At the beach here!” or “Here’s the shoveling I’m doing!” with a picture of a sand pail and shovel on the beach. You all just get a big F-U! You’re not funny, you look like a douche. No really, you do. With a capital D.

And furthermore, and I say this with all due respect, you folks that live in warmer climes after running away from parts of the country with “inconvenient” weather… are wimps. People who were born and raised in warmer climes, it’s all you know and you probably have all of your family there so you are excused. But you’re still not excused from being a putz to people suffering bad weather.

Yes, I say that the people who left the Northeast for the South, just can’t hang. You aren’t strong enough. You feel entitled to not be bothered and have things your way. (before you get all pissy, realize this is a humor blog and sarcasm is my middle name) We up here in the Northeast may have incredibly crappy weather sometimes in the winter, but we are much heartier souls for it and we have a better sense of community. And usually a better sense of humor.

Bosses be like

(This would be funny if it weren’t so true in the Northeast)

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. And what kills us, makes us dead… so there’s that. But seriously, the smaller stuff doesn’t bother us as much because we’ve had bigger fish to fry. I’ve lived in other areas of the US, in warmer climates that did have snow from time to time and the people were of absolutely no help to each other. Here, your car gets stuck, all of a sudden there are 3 different people coming out of their house to push or dig you out. Out there, people would look out their window just being annoyed at the sound of your wheels spinning.

Here, a neighbor knows you are older, or a single woman, or not so mobile, they will snow blow your driveway. Out there, they would come out and see you shoveling, snow blow their own driveway, get done and still see you shoveling and shoveling, and just close up the garage and go in.

I find it funny that many people in other parts of the country think people in the Northeast (especially New York City) are the grumpiest people in the world. I think they are some of the friendliest and most helpful. We may not all have the Michele Duggar vapid smile on our face, because actually our faces did “freeze like that” while grimacing during the winters. But it doesn’t make us less friendly.  In my experience people are far more friendly and helpful in the Northeast.

Take 9/11 in New York. I have never seen strangers help strangers in such ways for months and months afterward. People feeding rescue workers for free, doctors working for free, people fixing widows homes for free. Can you imagine that happening in L.A. or Florida? They might write out a check to the Red Cross, but it’s unlikely many would want to get their hands dirty. Sorry, just my own experience.

We may have lots of cold and snow, but I’ll take the character of the people here over anywhere else. Gives us that at least, while you’re gloating. I don’t recall anyone from the Northeast writing stuff on Facebook like “Hey, I still have my house and no wind here!” on someone’s page who just lived through a tornado in Kansas. I don’t see anyone in the Northeast posting stuff about “We have plenty of water here!” with a picture of Lake Ontario to a friend in California who is suffering a drought.

It’s the I, Me, Mine mentality. “I got mine, I can’t be bothered” Yea, that’s right, I said it. You can have your warm weather, umbrella drinks, and suntans. I’ll keep my pale cancer-free skin, my layer of blubber, and my sense of caring and community. And even though you act like a schmuck, I’d still shovel your driveway… ‘cuz that’s the way I was raised. So there. :-)p

Why Do I Care About You, I Don’t Even Know You?

10 Sep

Holy cow, it’s been a while eh? Well it’s been an action-packed six weeks or so for me.

Most of August was spent caring for my significant other as he had to undergo surgery for prostate cancer. Everything eventually turned out ok, and we are monitoring things over the next few months to make sure it isn’t anywhere else. He was in the hospital for almost a week as he had developed an infection, so it was a little stressful.

I also had to get my son home from working at camp in Massachusetts and then get him back to school at NYU. Then had to prepare my 2 daughters for back to high school. I’ve also been crazy busy with my new position as Associate Editor at Rochester Woman Magazine.

Soooo… how’ve you all been?

Other than that stuff, it’s been kind of and emotional week or two. A lot has happened that has little to nothing to do with me but I find it emotional… and I wonder what the hell is wrong with me?

For one, Robin Williams. Enough said. Then Joan Rivers died. I enjoyed watching Fashion Police every Friday night, and her shows after each award show were a must-see. I saw her in a whole new light after I saw a documentary on her about a year ago called “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work”. That woman had been through everything, was educated and had to fight her way into show biz. She worked like a fiend and was a fantastic writer. She wrote every day. She was an entrepreneur who wasn’t happy unless her schedule was full from dusk ’til… dusk. She was a role model and idol to me. I was very sad. I was so sad this week after Martina Navratilova proposed to her girlfriend… Joan would have had a helluva’ joke. She had the best lesbian jokes.

Also a police officer was killed in the line of duty here in my city of Rochester, NY. A 32 year old young man, with 2 young children and a wife. Gunned down by some piece of shit parolee that he was chasing. All kinds of pomp and circumstance and rituals and traditions. Such dignity and honor, somber yet uplifting. Moving, really. But so sad. It really hit my heart hard.

You may have seen the unresponsive plane that went flying through Cuban airspace and then crashed off the coast of Jamaica? The two people in the plane that died were a lovely couple that belonged to our country club and pillars of the community. I was glued to the TV feeling dread while they followed the plane. She built a catalog company from the ground up, he was a millionaire real estate developer that was re-building downtown Rochester. Only in their late 60’s. Just nice decent folks.

Then all the stuff with Ray and Janay Rice. Geez, what do you say? You watch the video and you’re just… in disbelief. You wanna’ knock him out and you want to cry. Then she comes out with that “Why you gotta’ hurt my man and me?” statement and I just wanted to… take her away, or shake her, or tell her how that’s not how she deserves to be treated. I know how hard it is to leave. The batterer threatens the woman that if she leaves he’ll kill her or the kids or himself. Leaving is scary, whether it’s fear for your safety or fear of losing financial stability.  It brought back old memories that just turned my stomach in knots.

So, why do I get so emotional about stuff? I guess maybe because I was born with a caring heart, which sometimes makes me a big ole pushover and let’s others take advantage of me, it also makes me waste energy on caring about people that have no idea who I am. But I guess it’s good, it’s good to feel things, experience a full range of emotions, that’s living life to it’s fullest. It’s also made me a good parent.

Although sometimes I wish I didn’t care because I could probably be further in business. Sociopaths (people who don’t have empathy) are usually the most successful people. It’s true, I read it on the interwebz. I probably also wouldn’t spend more time than I wanted to on men I didn’t really want to date. ha I mean sorry but I’ve had more than my share of pity dates (I’m sure I’ve been the recipient of some too), I’ve also spent much much longer than I wanted to painfully listening to a guy in a bar telling me all about his love of Nickleback (Ack), just because I thought it was rude to walk away. In the meantime, Prince Charming who made a witty remark to me and was waiting for me to come back to the bar had already left. Sad face.

I guess it’s good to have a big heart but it can also be emotionally exhausting. I’ve learned how to curb it, I don’t let it consume me and I don’t bring it up to others (most of the time) because I don’t want to seem like I like to insert myself into emotional stuff just to get attention. Like some sort of Munchausen Syndrome. I bring it up today because well, I’m kind of curious if I’m a freak or not. I’ve always been this way. Tomorrow is 9/11, guaranteed I will have a bout of tears just like I have every 9/11 since 2001. Is that weird? Do I like humans too much? I wish I could give the whole world a hug… and maybe a reach-a-round if they’re lucky.

Maybe it’s just PMS. A lot.

Please take care of yourselves and each other. That is all.


You’d See The Business End of My Gun Rights if You Used the Term “Your Dead Kid” About My Child

29 May

Joe the Plumber (whom is neither a licensed plumber or actually named Joe) is an absolute piece of shit and everything that is wrong with America today… in my opinion.

Joe The Plumber: ‘Your Dead Kids Don’t Trump My Constitutional Rights’ To Have Guns



I have no designs on taking away anyone’s “rights” but “Joe the Plumber” is a selfish opportunistic nobody who cares nothing about his fellow man. We need to stop this “Because they’re mine” mentality. Meaning, anytime I’ve tried to have a logical rational conversation with a gun person and I ask “Why do you want/need your guns?” the answer is “Because they’re mine!” is usually the answer. Funny, that’s the same answer my son gave me when he was 3 years old when I asked why he wanted to carry around a used paper towel I had just wiped his face with. Or when my daughter was two at her birthday party and didn’t want to give out pieces of her cake, “It’s mine!”.


(This is what came up when I Googled “Mine!”)

Yes, a lot of gun owners feel they have the right to protect themselves and that’s why the 2nd Amendment was created, but a lot of others just use the whole “it’s my right” thing. It’s not gun laws, it’s the machismo gun culture and the growing trend of people not being able to cope because we’ve become a culture of entitlement (“because they’re mine!, it’s my right!”) and the minute things don’t go their way in life they want retribution… and it starts with you. Stop enabling our kids to feel entitled.

Did you see this kid Elliot Rodgers’ video that he made before he went on his killing spree? (I don’t want to post it and give him any more public exposure) To me, that video did not show a mentally ill young man, but an angry entitled selfish little douchebag with a Napoleon Complex. I stress, in my opinion. That is not mental illness that’s an anger management problem. There’s a difference. Issues that can be worked out in therapy are different from actual mental defects. I know, I have a mental defect. I take meds or else my brain would play an endless loop of some thought, like a skipping record, or spliced reel to reel tape loop. The meds thump the floor to make the record stop skipping and move along with the song in my brain.

However, I’m not a doctor, I didn’t know the kid, nor did I examine him.

The best thing that ever happened to me while raising kids was to be poor. It forced me to teach them, you can’t have everything. Not that I wouldn’t be that way if I were rich either, I don’t believe in entitlement, I believe in earning things. However, there are certain poor people that are angry because they feel slighted because they still feel entitled but ain’t gettin’ it. So being poor doesn’t exactly negate the entitlement problem.

I also teach my kids that there are things bigger than themselves in this world. There is a thing called “The greater good”. Just because it suits you doesn’t mean it will be best for all. Just like it’s your right to smoke a cigarette, but there are little kids around and your smoke can effect them adversely, they have little lungs that can be damaged easier. You still think it’s not selfish or a good idea to exercise your “right”? And believe me, I don’t want to take away anyone’s cigarettes, I believe people should have a right to smoke, drink, do whatever they want as long as they aren’t killing other people with either.

Here’s a question… say you own guns. You have a child who has mental issues. Obviously a disturbed child, a fragile child. You still think it’s your “God damn right” to keep your guns at the ready? If someone said, I advise you to lock them up far away or get rid of them or you might have another Sandy Hook/Columbine/UCSB/VA Tech/CO Theater – (take your pick)? Let’s forget gun laws, no one wants to take your sacred guns, I’m asking an ethical/moral question. Ask yourself that question. What would you do? I think this country would be a lot better if people weren’t so selfish and macho.

Just my 2 cents.

I Don’t Like Insensitive People, But I Defend Their Right to Look Stupid

22 May

Well it looks like I’m coming out of the closet.

Oh no honey not that, although you all know I frequent gay bars but it’s because I’m a hag not a participant. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, to quote Jerry Seinfeld.

Ok anyway, I’m coming out as a proponent of free speech.

See, I come from a long line of wildly rabid Kennedy Democrats. Yes, I am a bit left-leaning. In my youth I was much more so, now as I’ve gotten older I’m a little more moderate. Back in the day, I hated Ronald Reagan with a passion, nowadays… I still kind of hate him but with less fervor. 🙂

Anyway, today a local radio morning show team was fired because they went on a rant the other day about the new City of Rochester policy to cover essentially “sex change operations” and related services under the city employees health insurance. These two brain trusts went on a rant about how these people were nutjobs and they made dick jokes and such. Backlash ensued, at first they were suspended, now canned. Read about it here:

Kimberly and Beck fired for transgender comments


Now, I am ridiculously sensitive about letting people live and let live, I wish the world didn’t see color, religion, or sexual preference. Granted I trash talk some people now and again but I try not to demean their whole being. I will talk about what they do was stupid. But what they said was just insensitive and sophomoric. Especially talking about a local transgender high school kid on a softball team and his “extra bat”. Just dumb.

However… I fear our country has been venturing into dangerous territory. Every time I turn around there is some other public figure putting their foot in their mouth and people are demanding for their head on a platter. I just think it’s getting a little out of hand.

Now hear my out. I loathe racists and biggots. I used to hate on them back, which isn’t any better than what they do quite frankly. Well I feel, anyway.  Now I just shake my head and hope they see the light someday. If I am in the presence of someone making a biggoted remark, I try to fight for the cause by saying, “Well that’s not a very nice thing to say. Why would you say that?” Not to jump all over their shit but to let them know it’s not cool.

Take the whole Donald Sterling thing. You know, the Magic-Johnson-hating owner of the Clippers? Yes, he’s an asshole, no I’m not condoning him. And tell me you didn’t know about 5 Dads on your block when you were growing up who spoke just like him. No, it doesn’t make it right but don’t people have a right to be assholes in America? I mean… ok bad example, if he is jacking up people’s livelihoods by being racist then yea, he deserves to have his team taken away. Need to do more homework on that.

But like entertainers. The sportscaster that made the remark about the “chink” in the armor in the same paragraph as a story about Jeremy Lin the Asian basketball player who was on a hot streak a while ago. He got canned. Really? Poor taste, maybe. I personally think the remark was a stretch in being related. The network didn’t even think about it until the public started calling for his head.

See, that’s my problem. All these people in an uproar whenever they hear something they don’t like. It doesn’t make it right, but the world is filled with shit you don’t want to hear. It’s like that kid that runs around to all the adults “Jimmy said a bad word!” Many of these people are put on the air or become public figures because of their words and opinions. Let them use their words even if they attempt to make a tasteless joke. It might educate  us on what a tasteless joke is and how hurtful it can be… and how dumb you look when you say it. Now if people are calling for you to go kill or hurt somebody, that’s another thing.

I read this great article here:

The Oh-So-Fragile Class of 2014 Needs to STFU And Listen to Some New Ideas

It’s regarding the recent rash of schools cancelling commencement speakers because of pressure from the student body over something they didn’t like about the speaker. You know, I used to be one of these kids who would say “I don’t want that guy speaking at our school, he’s an asshole and he supported the war!” Now I agree, you might learn something new by listening to someone you don’t agree with. I mean, I’d still be probably sitting there stewing about how much the person irritates me but I’ll listen. Hey, just being honest. I just think we’re getting into a bad habit of trying to silence people we don’t agree with.

Yes, it’s a slippery slope. No, I don’t want to hear the leader of the KKK speak at a commencement. But ya’ know what… maybe I would. I would love to hear what the hell his problem is. I would be interested to see what makes him tick. Some would argue, “Don’t give him a platform!” I say, let’s see if maybe he’ll see the error of his ways. (naive, I know) I would love to see the Grand Wizard of the KKK forced to speak at the Howard University commencement. I would love for him to face a sea of successful and smart African Americans. I’m sure most people would want to jump up and rip him to pieces, literally. But, it’s an interesting thought.

I just hate this entitlement thing we’re headed toward. The “I don’t have to listen to anything I don’t want to” thing. It’s fine if you don’t want to, just don’t go, turn the channel, or don’t read. It’s not your God-given right to dictate what everyone else should hear, read, or watch. Will we get to the point where your co-workers go to your boss and tell him to fire you because you listen to Dave Matthews in your cubicle because they find it offensive? Personally I find DMB offensive to my ears, but I will defend your right to listen to annoying music.

I’ll probably get my Democrat card taken away, but I just believe that a democracy includes free speech. I’m not gonna’ go out and donate to the ACLU or anything. I just believe that assholes will get what’s coming to them, I don’t believe we need a public lynching for being rude, crass, or insensitive.

Man Takes High Dive with Detachable Penis in Hand

17 Apr

Rapper Andre Johnson severs penis,

jumps off building, but survives




I can not make this stuff up, folks. Uh, that’s some nutty stuff… choppin’ off your penis than jumping off a building. Ok, it was only the second story but he had good intentions. How embarrassing is it though that he survived? Now he’s gonna’ take a whole lotta’ shit from his boyz.

Brings new meaning to the King Missile song, “Detachable Penis”.

In all seriousness though, apparently he needs help. Whatever it is… drugs or mental health, it’s time for help. Cuttin’ off your penis? My guess is either he cheated on a woman or he’s fightin’ the gay. According to that CNN article, his rapper name was Christ Bearer in the group Northstar, a member of the Wu-Tang Clan family of products. So I’m guessin’ it’s self-punishment for something he thinks is naughty. Or there is the off-chance he was once abused and feeling haunted by it.

I don’t know, who am I to judge? I’m not judging, I’m just saying people’s acts of desperation are getting wackier. Well, wackier and more violent. It seems now when someone is getting stressed out about something it’s time to go shoot a place up, kill your kids, or self-mutilation. That’s uh… pretty extreme. Why is this happening? Is it happening more or do we just hear about it more because of the instantaneous news cycle? I think these things are becoming commonplace and people think it’s normal or how things are supposed to go down. I find it incredibly disturbing.

Maybe what I find most disturbing is how CNN posted this in the “Entertainment” section. Yup, that right there’s some good entertainment. Granted he is an “entertainer” but that’s like some really disturbing stuff. But just like I am writing about it, it will become, I’m sure, fodder for late night monologues. However, my angle is more… what the hell is going on in society? More and more bizarre shit is happening every day. It’s like becoming a contest to see who can go out in the biggest blaze of destruction and outrageous glory. Damn, is it too much to ask to just go in my sleep nowadays? Lord help us…

Finally! Crimes are Easier to Commit Than Ever! Try Yours Today!

3 Apr

So I was reading this article here…

Doreen Landstra, Elderly Woman Who Killed 3 In Car, Gets Suspended License

And the reasoning behind the sentence completely baffled me. Now this is the woman that (you probably remember this story) backed into a group of fellow church-goers while trying to leave the church parking lot and killed 3 of them. She is 79 years old. So for her “punishment” she gets a suspended license – FOR ONE YEAR! And has to pay $1,000 fine. Really, isn’t that a little insulting to the victims?

I get it. She’s old. She killed her friends. I get it, she feels bad. My biggest problem with this is…

Her drivin’ ain’t gettin’ no better at 80 after a year’s license suspension!

Why does she need it back. Take it for good. Especially since she previously drove her SUV through a McDonald’s in 2011 after mistaking the pedals! She needs her McNuggets and “Senior Coffee” right now, damnit! She’s got an AARP card and she’s not afraid to use it!

Seriously Florida? Are you worried that fewer old people will come to Florida if you make stiffer penalties? I’d say you got plenty of blue hairs down there now!

Which then leads me to this gem of a story that came out this week…


Du Pont heir received no jail time after rape conviction


Creepy McCreeperson much? This is the kind of person that gives us gingers a bad name. Please shave your head or color your hair, sick freak.

This further proves my theory that some people just look… sketchy. That was my thing when I did online dating, I had to see a picture and guys thought I was being shallow. Hell no! I need to look at your face, I can take one look in your eyes and tell if you’re a nutjob or evil or depressed or… toothless. Sorry, just can’t do bad teeth.

Anyway, again with no jail time… for raping his own 3 year old daughter! What in God’s name could possibly justify that?! Yes, I get maybe the DuPont name had something to do with it (free DuPont Corian counter tops for life!) but you think no one else will notice, judge? You state he wouldn’t “fare well” in prison… who gives a shit? His daughter sure didn’t “fare well”.

Jude Judy is my idol, but I’m not a judge so who am I to say, but it seems pretty apparent to me that these sentences don’t fit the crime… or accident as they call the Florida woman’s mow down. On second thought, I would love to see Judge Judy hand down these sentences. “You’re old! Time to go to the home and stop driving!” “You are a sick bastard! I hope you get what you deserve in prison!”

And I’m not some kind of Maricopa County Sheriff either, I don’t believe in chain gangs or the death penalty for traffic or immigration infractions. Just it’s obvious some of this stuff is so… bargained. Ya’ know what I mean? Lots of wheeling and dealing. It’s worse than a shopkeeper in Chinatown, “Ok I give you 2… no no… 3 for $5!” I think sometimes our court systems are far more worried about the defendant/suspect/perp than the victim. I work with a sexual and domestic assault prevention and victim transition non-profit agency… believe me I know. And it’s usually about who has the better lawyer that can open loopholes or ask for favors rather than justice.

But then the system will try to “balance itself out” by putting some poor schmo in jail for a year because he had a half ounce of weed or something on him. (Easy potheads, I don’t know the law, so whatever the possession limits are, go with that) I say legalize that stupid crap and make not serving time for heinous/hurtful/devastating acts illegal. *drops mic* I’m out…

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