Archive | May, 2014

You’d See The Business End of My Gun Rights if You Used the Term “Your Dead Kid” About My Child

29 May

Joe the Plumber (whom is neither a licensed plumber or actually named Joe) is an absolute piece of shit and everything that is wrong with America today… in my opinion.

Joe The Plumber: ‘Your Dead Kids Don’t Trump My Constitutional Rights’ To Have Guns



I have no designs on taking away anyone’s “rights” but “Joe the Plumber” is a selfish opportunistic nobody who cares nothing about his fellow man. We need to stop this “Because they’re mine” mentality. Meaning, anytime I’ve tried to have a logical rational conversation with a gun person and I ask “Why do you want/need your guns?” the answer is “Because they’re mine!” is usually the answer. Funny, that’s the same answer my son gave me when he was 3 years old when I asked why he wanted to carry around a used paper towel I had just wiped his face with. Or when my daughter was two at her birthday party and didn’t want to give out pieces of her cake, “It’s mine!”.


(This is what came up when I Googled “Mine!”)

Yes, a lot of gun owners feel they have the right to protect themselves and that’s why the 2nd Amendment was created, but a lot of others just use the whole “it’s my right” thing. It’s not gun laws, it’s the machismo gun culture and the growing trend of people not being able to cope because we’ve become a culture of entitlement (“because they’re mine!, it’s my right!”) and the minute things don’t go their way in life they want retribution… and it starts with you. Stop enabling our kids to feel entitled.

Did you see this kid Elliot Rodgers’ video that he made before he went on his killing spree? (I don’t want to post it and give him any more public exposure) To me, that video did not show a mentally ill young man, but an angry entitled selfish little douchebag with a Napoleon Complex. I stress, in my opinion. That is not mental illness that’s an anger management problem. There’s a difference. Issues that can be worked out in therapy are different from actual mental defects. I know, I have a mental defect. I take meds or else my brain would play an endless loop of some thought, like a skipping record, or spliced reel to reel tape loop. The meds thump the floor to make the record stop skipping and move along with the song in my brain.

However, I’m not a doctor, I didn’t know the kid, nor did I examine him.

The best thing that ever happened to me while raising kids was to be poor. It forced me to teach them, you can’t have everything. Not that I wouldn’t be that way if I were rich either, I don’t believe in entitlement, I believe in earning things. However, there are certain poor people that are angry because they feel slighted because they still feel entitled but ain’t gettin’ it. So being poor doesn’t exactly negate the entitlement problem.

I also teach my kids that there are things bigger than themselves in this world. There is a thing called “The greater good”. Just because it suits you doesn’t mean it will be best for all. Just like it’s your right to smoke a cigarette, but there are little kids around and your smoke can effect them adversely, they have little lungs that can be damaged easier. You still think it’s not selfish or a good idea to exercise your “right”? And believe me, I don’t want to take away anyone’s cigarettes, I believe people should have a right to smoke, drink, do whatever they want as long as they aren’t killing other people with either.

Here’s a question… say you own guns. You have a child who has mental issues. Obviously a disturbed child, a fragile child. You still think it’s your “God damn right” to keep your guns at the ready? If someone said, I advise you to lock them up far away or get rid of them or you might have another Sandy Hook/Columbine/UCSB/VA Tech/CO Theater – (take your pick)? Let’s forget gun laws, no one wants to take your sacred guns, I’m asking an ethical/moral question. Ask yourself that question. What would you do? I think this country would be a lot better if people weren’t so selfish and macho.

Just my 2 cents.


I Don’t Like Insensitive People, But I Defend Their Right to Look Stupid

22 May

Well it looks like I’m coming out of the closet.

Oh no honey not that, although you all know I frequent gay bars but it’s because I’m a hag not a participant. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, to quote Jerry Seinfeld.

Ok anyway, I’m coming out as a proponent of free speech.

See, I come from a long line of wildly rabid Kennedy Democrats. Yes, I am a bit left-leaning. In my youth I was much more so, now as I’ve gotten older I’m a little more moderate. Back in the day, I hated Ronald Reagan with a passion, nowadays… I still kind of hate him but with less fervor. 🙂

Anyway, today a local radio morning show team was fired because they went on a rant the other day about the new City of Rochester policy to cover essentially “sex change operations” and related services under the city employees health insurance. These two brain trusts went on a rant about how these people were nutjobs and they made dick jokes and such. Backlash ensued, at first they were suspended, now canned. Read about it here:

Kimberly and Beck fired for transgender comments


Now, I am ridiculously sensitive about letting people live and let live, I wish the world didn’t see color, religion, or sexual preference. Granted I trash talk some people now and again but I try not to demean their whole being. I will talk about what they do was stupid. But what they said was just insensitive and sophomoric. Especially talking about a local transgender high school kid on a softball team and his “extra bat”. Just dumb.

However… I fear our country has been venturing into dangerous territory. Every time I turn around there is some other public figure putting their foot in their mouth and people are demanding for their head on a platter. I just think it’s getting a little out of hand.

Now hear my out. I loathe racists and biggots. I used to hate on them back, which isn’t any better than what they do quite frankly. Well I feel, anyway.  Now I just shake my head and hope they see the light someday. If I am in the presence of someone making a biggoted remark, I try to fight for the cause by saying, “Well that’s not a very nice thing to say. Why would you say that?” Not to jump all over their shit but to let them know it’s not cool.

Take the whole Donald Sterling thing. You know, the Magic-Johnson-hating owner of the Clippers? Yes, he’s an asshole, no I’m not condoning him. And tell me you didn’t know about 5 Dads on your block when you were growing up who spoke just like him. No, it doesn’t make it right but don’t people have a right to be assholes in America? I mean… ok bad example, if he is jacking up people’s livelihoods by being racist then yea, he deserves to have his team taken away. Need to do more homework on that.

But like entertainers. The sportscaster that made the remark about the “chink” in the armor in the same paragraph as a story about Jeremy Lin the Asian basketball player who was on a hot streak a while ago. He got canned. Really? Poor taste, maybe. I personally think the remark was a stretch in being related. The network didn’t even think about it until the public started calling for his head.

See, that’s my problem. All these people in an uproar whenever they hear something they don’t like. It doesn’t make it right, but the world is filled with shit you don’t want to hear. It’s like that kid that runs around to all the adults “Jimmy said a bad word!” Many of these people are put on the air or become public figures because of their words and opinions. Let them use their words even if they attempt to make a tasteless joke. It might educate  us on what a tasteless joke is and how hurtful it can be… and how dumb you look when you say it. Now if people are calling for you to go kill or hurt somebody, that’s another thing.

I read this great article here:

The Oh-So-Fragile Class of 2014 Needs to STFU And Listen to Some New Ideas

It’s regarding the recent rash of schools cancelling commencement speakers because of pressure from the student body over something they didn’t like about the speaker. You know, I used to be one of these kids who would say “I don’t want that guy speaking at our school, he’s an asshole and he supported the war!” Now I agree, you might learn something new by listening to someone you don’t agree with. I mean, I’d still be probably sitting there stewing about how much the person irritates me but I’ll listen. Hey, just being honest. I just think we’re getting into a bad habit of trying to silence people we don’t agree with.

Yes, it’s a slippery slope. No, I don’t want to hear the leader of the KKK speak at a commencement. But ya’ know what… maybe I would. I would love to hear what the hell his problem is. I would be interested to see what makes him tick. Some would argue, “Don’t give him a platform!” I say, let’s see if maybe he’ll see the error of his ways. (naive, I know) I would love to see the Grand Wizard of the KKK forced to speak at the Howard University commencement. I would love for him to face a sea of successful and smart African Americans. I’m sure most people would want to jump up and rip him to pieces, literally. But, it’s an interesting thought.

I just hate this entitlement thing we’re headed toward. The “I don’t have to listen to anything I don’t want to” thing. It’s fine if you don’t want to, just don’t go, turn the channel, or don’t read. It’s not your God-given right to dictate what everyone else should hear, read, or watch. Will we get to the point where your co-workers go to your boss and tell him to fire you because you listen to Dave Matthews in your cubicle because they find it offensive? Personally I find DMB offensive to my ears, but I will defend your right to listen to annoying music.

I’ll probably get my Democrat card taken away, but I just believe that a democracy includes free speech. I’m not gonna’ go out and donate to the ACLU or anything. I just believe that assholes will get what’s coming to them, I don’t believe we need a public lynching for being rude, crass, or insensitive.

Listen to Where You’re Being Sent or How I Was Finally Useful Today

15 May

Someone asked for my opinion today. Ha! Who the hell would think that was a wise idea?

Well I guess it was something I had dealt with and they wanted to know my thoughts.

My thoughts actually provided an answer to this person.

What, what?!

I was useful. I gave this person advice on sort of going with their gut, and the person helped me put into words the idea I’ve been trying to verbalize for a while. Well I mean I thought of other ways to put it, but when this person reiterated what I just told them and  put it in these words it really clicked with me.

“Listen to where you’re being sent”

Yea, it’s like listen to your gut and all that but it’s, I don’t know, maybe a little more specific.

This person has a young child and she’s considering switching them to Catholic school and she asked me about my experience with it. Now I’m no big cheerleader for Catholic school, my son went to a Jesuit all boys school, the girls go to an all girls Catholic school, but I am a fan of these particular schools, not just all Catholic schools in general. Most importantly I am a fan of “do what’s best for you”. It was also a nice moment for myself where I realized “I did do what was best for me”. I went with what my senses were telling me.

Several things kept happening that made me think it was the right choice back then. It doesn’t matter what you are deciding… what school to send your kid to, what house to buy, what person to date, what kind of booze to order. There are outside influences at work. Hey, that’s just my theory. It could be just the inner depths of your brain combing the data banks for past experience or info learned from others being processed and your brain is sending you text alerts like your bank does on your phone. “Your bank balance is now overdrawn.” Oh wait, or is that just me? Anyway, something is sending you info, vibes, messages… whatever you want to call it. Listen to them. (However if the messages involve violence or deviant behavior, see a mental health professional)

Maybe you keep seeing shirts with the name of a certain college… damn that’s where my kid really wants to go, maybe it is the right school. Maybe when ordering booze you think margarita, but your brain scans the shelves and see’s tequila… oh damn girl remember, you don’t handle that stuff well, I’ll have gin and tonic. Maybe you like a guy but your Mom said she doesn’t have a good feeling about him… suddenly a bus rolls by with an ad that says “Mom knows best”. They could be subtle signs you really have to listen hard for or you never know, it could be as glaring as the giant statue of Jesus falling on Mandy Moore’s car in “Saved”. (I love that movie) Unlikely but… who knows.

I don’t know where it comes from, but it’s there. My life got better once I stopped making knee-jerk panicky reactions to everything and started to just sit and listen to the Universe or God or whomever it may be. It keeps sending my brain to a place, it may even send me physically to a place (I kept getting invited to events by a club, I soon realized I needed to join and it was good).

So stop talking and thinking and making excuses. Ok maybe do a little thinking, that is important… but don’t get so stuck on rational thought and possible statistical outcomes. Sometimes a gut leap of faith can lead to amazingly wonderful, successful things.

Oh and I am quite proud of myself for being useful today, perhaps there is hope for me. 🙂


Don’t Tell Me How to Mother on Mother’s Day!

8 May

To all you Mothers…

Happy Mother’s Day!

This will be my first Mother’s Day without my Mom, she died 6 months ago. I miss her everyday. She was a phenomenal, feisty, loving little Irish lady. I’m not even thinking about me being a Mom this year and if my kids will do anything, I’m just missing my Mom. The first one’s always the hardest.

Me and mom

Me and my Mother celebrating her 80th birthday almost 8 years ago. I made the crown.



But for all the other Mother’s out there, I say… it’s your day, celebrate how you want. I remember reading a post last year where a guy, yes a guy was blasting all women (or one specific woman, I can’t remember) who wanted to spend Mother’s Day away from their children and have time for themselves. He was literally vehemently berating Mothers for taking time for themselves and saying they were horrible Mothers and human beings. For one, who the hell are you to tell anybody how to do anything? Secondly, you’re a guy, don’t tell Mother’s what to do, you worry about Father’s Day. Keep your testosterone-fueled mouth in check.

Here’s the thing, my experience as a Mother and with my Mother, when kids are young, Mom’s are with them all the time. All. The. Damn. Time. Often we become martyrs. We need to let Moms know you don’t have to be a martyr. We always honored my Mother in the morning, gave cards and presents, had breakfast or brunch, then we had orders from my Father to leave my Mother the hell alone the rest of the day. Same when I was married and my kids just kind of continued the tradition even without their Father around to tell them to leave me the hell alone.

I mean I don’t order them to leave me alone, they’re just kind of like “Mom, it’s your day, do what you want, have peace and quiet, whatever.” Now that doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids, I don’t run out of town for the weekend it just means they know I work hard for them and want me to have time to myself. And it usually is just taking 2 hours to go to the grocery store unencumbered. However, I’m sure when my kids are out of the house that I’ll want to spend the day with them. It will be the reverse. They won’t be around all the time, I’ll make that day about paying homage to me and wear my tiara. 🙂 As I did to my Mom when I became an adult. Except my Mom didn’t wear a tiara, she was still wearing a crown of thorns, could never really get passed that martyr stage. lol I take that back, probably by her 70s and 80s, she was like “I am not doin’ a DAYUM thing today, you people cook or order out”. See, in the picture above she did wear a nice crown. Lord I loved that woman.

However, if there are young Moms that want to be with their kids, knock yourself out. It’s your day. But don’t you dare chastise a woman for wanting some time alone, because we need it sometimes and it’s well-deserved. Most Moms work really hard and we are the nurturers and usually the first one the kids go to for anything – hungry, tired, hurt, sick, bleeding, sad, bored, happy. There were times I literally had 3 kids hanging off me at once as I was trying to cook… or just go to the bathroom.

Do you tell people how to spend their birthday? “You must have cake and see loved ones, especially your Mother  who gave birth to you on that day!” Aw hell no, you can spend it locked in the bathroom, in a bar, at work, in a car wash… it’s your damn business. You can even choose to ignore it if you like. Sadly there are estranged children and Mothers that don’t speak and they choose to ignore Mother’s Day. But again, that’s their business. Yes, it makes me sad, but who am I to judge?

So enjoy the day, however… but first a brief lesson – Mother’s Day in some form or another has been celebrated all over the world for centuries. Since we learned in my last blog, May is the Blessed Virgin Mary’s month, some places decided to honor all Mothers. Other cultures had their reasons for honoring Mom too. In the U.S. Anna Jarvis of West Virginia was the one to lobby for making it a national holiday in 1908 because she had already started honoring her own Mother when she passed in 1905. So there you have it. We have Anna to thank. Happy Mother’s Day!


Mary, Missiles, and Marigolds: What the hell is May Day?

1 May

When I was growing up, May Day was very confusing to me. I have a bunch of symbols in my head that are linked to that day but I’m not really sure what was what.

First off I went to Catholic grade school and I remember doing a few things… making paper May baskets in class, making a May pole, and doing a bunch of stuff around the Blessed Virgin Holy Mary Mother of God. (I thought I’d through in all titles) And now my kids have gone to Catholic school, well my son’s all boys Catholic school didn’t give much of a hoot about Mary, but my girls still go to Our Lady of Mercy, and there’s a whole lotta’ Mary goin’ on. As you could imagine.

My girl’s school has a big ole’ May Day ceremony thingy. They select a May Queen and her court. But at their school, they select a girl who has the qualities most like Mary. Yes yes, bring on the Immaculate Conception jokes. But no, it’s a girl that is kind and loving and giving and all that jazz. They wear white and wear flower wreaths on their heads and a priest does some junk. Oh and then outside they have this beautiful grotto with a big statue of Mary, and the girls go out there and adornher and stuff.

So, in Catholicism May is the month of Mary. I couldn’t find any good reason why, other than May 31st is the Commemoration of the Visitation. Which I’m still not really sure what happened. Mary went to visit Elizabeth and they were both pregnant and I guess realized the presence of Jesus or something. Not clear. Anyway, that’ what I can find out about Mary. And now Catholics like to give her statue a crown in May. Ta da!


The May baskets and May pole come from a whole other celebration of May, that of course is always developed from some other ancient Pagan celebration (all holidays usually are) . I’ve seen three different pre-Christianity celebrations cited – Festival of Flora (Roman Goddess of Flowers), the German Walpurgis Night, and the Celtic/Gaelic Beltane. Which are all pretty much celebrations of the arrival of Spring and new life and animals and people gettin’ impregnated and what-not. I remember putting the May baskets on a door knob, ringing the bell and running away. Why, I don’t know. They May pole has no real clear purpose that any historians can agree on. It is Germanic some say a symbol of their revered trees, non-Germanic folks say it’s a phallic symbol. They all crowned a May Queen, usually the prettiest girl in town or something. Maybe that ties together the Virgin Mary-new life-fertility-phalic thing.


Then the other thing I have visions of with May Day is giant military parades in the Soviet Union in the 1970’s when I was a kid. They’d have miles of troops in dress uniform, fancy stepping through Red Square, and tanks and missiles rolling by. Everybody saluted, paid homage, bowed, whatever they do to the Soviet leader. On a side note, I tried to look up what the actual title of Grand Pubah of the Soviet Union was and it changed a lot and the dude would have various different titles at the same time, so the rest of the world just kind of called him “Leader”.

soviet may day

So the Soviet May Day was actually celebrating “International Worker’s Day”, that was started by the Soviets to commemorate the “Haymarket Affair” of 1886 in Chicago. The Haymarket Affair began as a rally of laborer’s supporting those striking to get down to just an 8 hour work day. Some anarchists threw a bomb at police when they were trying to disperse the crowds, a bunch of people died and were wounded. So then why did the Soviets have parades with troops and tanks supposedly celebrating workers? As far as I can tell from research, it was a display of military might to show that “worker make Soviet big and strong”.

soviet parad

And there you have why I remember Mary, missiles, and marigolds. It seems these things always blend together. It’s like “6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon”, you can always find how they some how cross paths. The International Labor Day parades kind of sprung out of May Day anyway, they combined the two parties. They all intertwine. Next time I’ll try to figure out how the Easter Bunny, coloring eggs, and Jesus intersect.

Oh in researching I was trying to figure out a saying my Mother always said “She’s acting like she’s ‘Queen of the May’!” I mean I know it’s from the whole May Queen thing but don’t know where “the May” came from. Anyway… I’m off to be Queen of the May! Enjoy!

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