(Just and aside this Friday and Saturday (starting at midnight tonight) my new book “I Got Yer Haiku Right Here” will be a FREE ebook download on Amazon.com, check out my other book “When Life Gives You Lemons… at Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!” while you’re there)
As most of you may know I’ve been divorced for almost 13 years now. There’s been a lot of dating and entanglements with men in that time. Some of you who haven’t been in the dating seen for many years might not be aware of all the wonderful new nuances of dating. Some of you younger folks, don’t know anything different.
Those of us say over 35, maybe only over 40, remember a time when you went out into the world and met real people and if you clicked, a boy asked for the girl’s number. Then the girl would sit around and wait for the phone to ring at home… no cell phones, no answering machines, no computers, no call waiting. Or unless you were a freak and answered a personal ad in the back page of the Village Voice and sent a letter to a P.O. Box and waited several days for a response… that too.
(For those of you who don’t know… this is what phones used to look like, they were plugged into a wall at home or business)
So nowadays, you can meet people online, solicited or unsolicited and sometimes never ever meet them. There are people that carry on entire virtual relationships for years and never meet. This is a perfect solution for those that suffer from social awkwardness or insecurity because of weight, ugliness or some other malady. I mean really, if you are content to never have a physical encounter with someone because you can’t bear to face the world, the world’s your oyster right now!
Which brings me to another virtual “dating” tool… texting or otherwise electronically sending pictures. Show of hands, how many women have received unsolicited dick pics out there? Ok, too many to count. Now, how many women have been asked to send pics of themselves to a man (or woman, we don’t judge here)? Again, too many to count. How many of you women, send pics will-nilly to said men? Ok maybe not willy-nilly, but you’ve sent them?
Here’s my thing, and it’s probably not what you think. No, I’m not disgusted… however, unsolicited pics of one’s junk is not a turn on for me. I can’t say even solicited ones are. Ok, maybe out of curiosity, I wonder what your junk looks like but it doesn’t suddenly make a deal when there wasn’t one. It’s just more like car wreck curiosity. And I highly highly advise against sending pics to someone who you aren’t in a relationship with, especially a stranger, you never know where that will end up. You may end up all over the internet, or in some collage on a serial rapist/killers basement apartment wall. However, if you really feel the need, don’t include your face in the pic, for God’s sake.
Oh, so wait, I still didn’t tell you my thing. So say, you meet a guy that lives far away or you reconnect with someone from your past that lives far away. Like I lived in Denver now I live in NY and I run into someone on Facebook I used to know there. Whatever. Not that this has really happened. *ahem* So, you get flirty in texts or whatever… then they ask for pics. You get carried away, it’s a little exciting at first. Sending pics of you in your sexiest dress or lingerie. You get a shirtless pic of him and he’s not an old man with moobs, sweet! And maybe you get coerced into showing a little more skin… and then you get asked for more pics. I’m not saying you keep sending pics but he keeps asking for them.
And more pics.
And more pics.
Days, weeks, months, years go by of the guy asking for pics. It is demeaning. He can never get enough pics but makes no effort to meet. And I’m like, is this desire between us ever going to get fulfilled, like in person, not over the phone or computer? Like skin on skin? Not yet, you want more pics? Uh…. yea. I’m kinda’ over this. Bo… ring.
And no, he’s not married. He doesn’t have a girlfriend. We know mutual people. Maybe he is taken, but he talks a good game of wanting to get together but can’t pull the trigger, so to speak. Whatever the case is… why are guys perfectly satisfied with getting pics for the rest of their life? What are y’all like scrapbooking that shit or something? I can see you all gathering at Joe’s house, bringing your scrapbook material… “Oh I’m using the crimping shears on this one! Look how nice it is on an orange background! Does anybody have a ‘Hot Stuff’ or palm tree sticker?” WTF?
(Not sex, but an example of what a man’s scrapbook might look like)
I’m sorry to me, that stuff gets old real quick. I need the real thing. I call your bluff. Pics or sexting as a form of very short foreplay is ok. Pic trading as an ongoing form of a relationship? No thanks. As my Mother has said her whole life in answer to many situations… “Shit or get off the pot”. That is pretty much my motto for everything in life. I’m a doer… not because I have irritable bowel syndrome, I just need to get things underway, make a move, give it a try.
So, can anyone tell me why men do this? Has anyone ever encountered a woman doing this? I just want to know what men’s fascination with pics are and why they could be perfectly satisfied with only pics. Any other women feel this way or is it just me? Maybe I’m the freak? Hmmmm…