Archive | May, 2013

Off Like a Prom Dress – a Pictorial

30 May

My friend Renee Schuls Jacobson wrote a blog over here about going to prom.  I told her I had done a blog a year or so ago on my old site and she thought it was time to re-reun that bad boy.  So here it is, tidied up a little for present day:

Off Like a Prom Dress

Over on my Facebook Page  (which you should all go and “Like”) I had a little contest as to what I should write about next.  And the lovely and talented Michele Clark Powell won with her prom theme suggestion, due to the time of year.  She suggested I compare proms of today to yesterday and goaded me into posting pics.

This was easy as I have 2 teenagers who are in prime prom season and one son in college who went to about 7 proms.  Of course it’s totally different nowadays.  Now, prom is a cross between a nightclub, wedding reception, bar mitzvah, and Teamster’s Convention after hours stripper party.  I give you some examples:

It’s turned into a God damn circus now.  Starting from the asking part, you can’t just ask a girl to prom, you have to have a “prom proposal” or “promposal”.  It’s a grandiose gesture akin to a marriage proposal.

Ridiculous.  At least these days they will have the prom at a banquet hall or something with dinner included.  We used to decorate our gym, have it in there and go out to eat someplace else beforehand.  And that was usually at some stuffy old place that your parents thought was fine dining.  It usually featured velvet wallpaper.

Then there was transportation.  In my day the boy just borrowed his Dad’s car and maybe double dated with another couple.

Now they do this…

It’s like a modern day Joad family, where 18 couples pile into a stretch Hummer and party like it’s 1999… er somethin’.

The main meat of the prom is pretty much the same  – dancing, awkward socializing, douchie dudes trying to get up and sing with the band, girls crying in the bathroom.  The only slight difference is now there is grinding and simulated sex on the dance floor (unless you have a school policy against it) and there is the occassional shirtless toolbag gymrat/spray tan guy attempting to break dance.

After parties have changed slightly.  When I was in high school, some kid might have kids over in his basement to drink, smoke pot, and makeout after the prom.  Or you just went parking, that’s when Dad’s old station wagon came in handy, back seat goes down.  What?  Don’t tell me you didn’t?  Hey, the drinking age was 18 at the time, it was a different era.  Didn’t you ever see “16 Candles”?  I know they still do the drinking and stuff but now they are renting hotel rooms!  Sorry but I’ll do whatever I can to keep my teenage son or daughter away from a hotel room.  Oy!

However one thing remains the same over time… if all goes well the night will end like this…

Actually I knew a girl in high school that never even made it into the prom, she spent the whole time making out with her date in the car in the parking lot.  Scandalous at the time!

The other thing that bugs me is that girls are expected to go all out (by other girls) to get manicures, up-dos, spray tans, professional makeup application, and give designer flowers.  My daughter just went to a prom and was very disappointed that I said I would do her makeup. Hey I sprang for the up-do, we bought $6 press-on French manicure nails (that actually looked gorgeous, girls thought they were real gel), and decided against spray tan, I only have so much money I couldn’t spring another $40 just to put on makeup.  I drew the line.  She ended up looking gorgeous…

Lib prom

Ah, just look at my baby girl. 🙂

When I went to the prom it was shower, blow dry feather the hair, and lip gloss.  It’s out of control now.

Anyway, here is a little glimpse into my past lameness.  My high school had 2 “proms” a year, a winter ball and Spring prom.  Here is my very first winter ball in 1979.  I was 14 years old, my boyfriend was 2 years older, that’s why I went to so many proms.  Check out his lovely maroon tux:

Here we are in the Spring of 1980 at prom.  I’ve always gone for the stylish ones.  My gown was made out of white cotten eyelet material, the stitching around the eyelets was a light green.  It was actually a bridesmaid dress from my sister’s wedding worn by another sister 4 years before.  Hey, I was frugal:

Then we come to the winter ball of 1980.  Wasn’t I uber preppy in my floor length plaid skirt and black velvet vest?  How he could resist my hotness, I have no idea:

And our final prom together, Spring 1981.  That gown was a beautiful baby blue, you can’t really see in this pic.  And of course John was so handsome in all white. lol  What’s with the fence?:

 My junior year, I moved to a new school which totally sucked.  My boyfriend went off to college and eventually dumped me by the end of his Freshman year for a college coed. 😦  So I went to prom in Spring 1982 with a friend who acted like a putz after I rejected his romantic advances, so I don’t feel the need to show him here:

 

Why does my hair look different in all these pics?  Some look dark, some look light.  Oh, lighting, duh.  I swear I never did any coloring except for the chlorine from the pool, I was on swim team I was in it twice a day.

Spring 1983.  My senior year, I had a new boyfriend from another school who I was all set to go to the prom with but he was messing around with his sister and broke a window at his house so his punishment was that he couldn’t go to my prom.  Seriously?  Your punishment is to not let your girlfriend enjoy her senior prom?  His mother was an f-ing idiot anyway.  I still hate her, even though I haven’t seen her in 29 years.   Oh well, I had already gone to 5 proms.

So, what are some of your proms stories?  Worst prom?  Best prom?  Share a picture with me!  If you can’t post it here, (which I’m sure you can’t) send it to me at margaretfmadigan@gmail.com and I’ll post it!

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A Small Pick-Me-Up for Your Craptastic Day

28 May

What an ultra craptastic “holiday” weekend, mostly because of the weather – cold and rainy.  And the trend continues today… cold, rainy.  I am so busy with having gone to NYU to get my son from school and tomorrow I have a book launch/book signing (if anyone local is interested email me at margaretfmadigan@gmail.com for details), I have lost the will to write something interesting/witty at the moment.  But I think a smile and laugh are necessary today, so I give you this video, if this doesn’t make you smile, you are dead inside…

Buy my book “When Life Gives You Lemons… at Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!”

As Eva Gabor Said – “Dahling I Love You but Give Me Park Ave.”

23 May

In all of my crazy running this week, I forgot to mention the winners of my book giveaway contest!  They are:

Laura D (also wins “Most Creative” by having her kid pose with an I Love Madge sign on Twitter)

Jon Jefferson

SS

Lisa S

TurdBoy

Yes… TurdBoy

Some of you, I don’t know your real names, just user names so, ya’ know that’s what I go with.  Please email me your shipping address to margaretfmadigan@gmail.com.  I will also try to contact those folks through their FB’s and Twitter and junk.

Congratulations!

The rest of you… Today only! Use this code – KZHZAWP8 and get 50% OFF, that’s HALF OFF my book… at this website – https://www.createspace.com/3819159   HURRY!  BUY NOW!

 

Ok, just a quick pictorial today.  I went to pick my son up at NYU to bring him home for the summer.  Do you have a place where you feel most at home, alive, or at peace?  Most of you feel that way say in the mountains, or maybe your lakeside cabin, or camping, fishing, church, whatever.  Me?  It’s New York City.  I can’t explain it.  There I feel… normal.  I just do.  I have this weird feeling of peace and happiness and like I belong.  I’m going to live there someday.  When I become a wealthy author and my last child gets out of high  school in 4 years.  I’m gone.  Oh maybe I’ll spend part of my summers in Rochester too, it gets a little gritty during NY summers.

Anyway, here are a few pics and what makes me happy.  I didn’t take much but well… here they are:

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Had dinner and drinks with my high school friend and NY Times Best Selling author Wendy Corsi Staub.  Go to her website here, awesome selection of books!

 

 

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My son Jack and I at dinner with Wendy at B Bar and Grill, 4th Ave. and Bowery.

 

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Inside the door of a coffee shop we went to later in Cooper Square.  Who brings spray paint to a coffee shop?

 

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More of the bathroom.  I love graffiti laden walls, it’s such a slice of life.  And the writing in there was very deep, not like “Jenny is a slut” type stuff.

 

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My boy somewhere around Cooper Square.

 

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Mackelmore’s hit “Thrift Shop” is all the rage.  But thrift shopping in NYC is totally different than anywhere else.  Here is a Betsey Johnson dress still too expensive for me even in a thrift shop.  To. Die. For.

 

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A Lilly Pulitzer dress in the same thrift store.  A size 2… who the fuck wears that?!  Also still too expensive.  *sad face*

 

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My son ended up buying me this coat that I fell in love with for $45 marked down from $165.  From the tags inside it appears to be custom made in the late 50s/early 60s with a real full collar and 3/4 sleeves.   It needs to be taken in just a little but I love it, it’s perfect.  My son said it was an early birthday present (June 11), isn’t he amazing?

 

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The old St. Anne’s Church facade in front of my son’s dorm.

 

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Freshman dorm.

 

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Goodbye Freshman dorm.

 

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A closer look at the facade.

 

When I go back in August I’ll take more.  I just live in the moment and forget to take pictures but I’ll try to remember to do so, that way I can always carry the pieces of NY I love with me until I can live there for good.

Where is a place that makes you feel most at home/peace?

Guest Blog from Mike Danger: Deconstructing Bud Light’s Couch Commercial

20 May

Don’t forget to buy my book here.

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In the first of what I hope to be a series of guest blog features… This week we have Rochester’s own Mike Danger from 98.9 The Buzz.

Danger

Mike has his moments of  douche, like starting celebrity death rumors on Twitter, but we still love him.  Mike is a cool cat, a little bitter but very funny.  He has been a good, helpful friend over the years.  Thanks, dude.  You can visit Mike’s website here.  And follow him while you’re there.  Not like follow  him physically… his blog.  So here we go:

 

Deconstructing Bud Light’s Couch Commercial

I’ll start by admitting I am a Bud Light drinker.  It’s the first beer I drank (as a legal adult, of course) and through the years it has been my default setting.   I know, I know.  If you’re a beer drinker in 2013 who is drinking a cheap domestic you’re likely to be shamed into isolation by the increasing number of beer snobs who would rather feel death’s cold grip than be caught dead drinking that piss.

don-draper

“Light Beer is neither good or bad, it simply is.”

I disagree.  I want my beer cheap.  I don’t care about its “notes” or “potential food pairings.”  I want to drink mass quantities and I want to get bent.

My loyalty to Bud Light and beers of the like (I’m staring at you, Silver Bullet) has been tested through the years with their ongoing atrocious series of ad campaigns.  I will mostly consume these commercials while watching a live sporting event and I watch a lot of live sporting events.

I get who these ads are targeting.  I’m not Don Draper, but I can understand why Anheuser Busch or Pete Coors would appeal to the lowest common denominator and make it magically appear as if cracking open a cold one will drastically improve the drinker’s life, transport them to some kind of tundra/beach/urban landscape hybrid, or even allow them to party with international pop superstar Pitbull.  Dalé!

This is why I’m at a loss as to one of Bud Light’s latest offerings in their seemingly eternal “Here We Go” campaign.  Ripe for a complete deconstruction, I invite you to try and decipher what exactly is happening for the following 30 seconds.

:02-It’s mandatory for beer commercials to show a can being cracked or a bottle being tapped within the framework of the ad.  The standard ‘pshht’ sound effect signals that something remarkable is about to happen.  History has taught us that bikini babes jiggling or muscular dudes frolicking on a beach follow this sound effect.  However, at :03, immediately following that Pavlovian sound…

Wat? These nerds drink beer?

:05-Urkel reminisces about “…all the parties, the stories!”  What kind of parties? Tupperware? D&D?   Stories? What, like Harry Potter? I’m skeptical.

urkel

This bitch drinks Zima. Come on.

:08-“I’m going to miss your smell.” Almost one third of the way through the commercial and we, the viewer, are still left wondering what these three losers are paying tribute to.  I’m going to miss your smell? Who says that? This line hits you in the face like a left cross from Floyd Mayweather.  In fact, at this point of the ad, for all we know they could be paying tribute to FLOYD MAYWEATHER! (I assume he smells awful.)

:10-“You were my first” is uttered by our bikini-less female lead.  Holy shit, is Floyd Mayweather deflowering young, moderately attractive white women?! (I assume the answer is yes.)

:11-:13-Guitar bro can’t believe his innocent friend would let Floyd Mayweather bang her.  Meanwhile, Urkel plays coy.  As if any young, moderately attractive white woman can resist the temptations of Floyd Mayweather. “It’s true,” our proud trollop admits and it is at this point where I have to know WTF IS GOING ON WITH THESE 3 CLOWNSHOES HOLDING THEIR BUD LIGHTS IN THE MOST AWKWARD CONVERSATION EVER FILMED?

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This does not appear to be Floyd Mayweather

:15- A couch? A fucking couch? How is patented leather supposed to make me want to drink more beer? Could Floyd Mayweather have been at least lying down on the couch? Shit, even Miller Lite got that Asian spare from The Hangover movies to make a cameo in their campaign.  Jesus, I’m disappointed.

:18-Guitar bro wrote a song for the couch in an obvious attempt to impress his female friend.  He’s so sensitive! Such a talent! (Get out the moisturizing lotion, bro.) If he’s going to “miss the smell” of that STD vessel and he’s trying this hard to impress a 4, his talent and judgement are in serious question.

:21-Before this potential gang bang gets any more awkward, the actual men in the room subtly remind these selfish assholes that THEY’RE HOLDING A NEW COUCH AND HAVE YOU EVER LIFTED A COUCH I’M GUESSING NO BASED ON HOW THIS PLACE IS DECORATED AND THE FACT YOU’RE GETTING SENTIMENTAL OVER A SEMEN STAINED RELIC FROM THE CARTER ADMINISTRATION AND MAN THIS COUCH IS HEAVY SHUT UP AND TELL US WHERE YOU WANT IT.

new couch

Not amused…and probably drinkers of hard liquor.

:27-This is a joke, right? Another group of hipster-wannabes have spotted our DNA caravan? And they’re actually interested in it? (Granted, the old couch may taste better than that case he’s holding under his arm.)

group

Like the Alpha Betas, this ad is up to its neck in nerd shit.

And so a couch, the star of this commercial, will live to see another day of direct flatulence into its cushions, dried boogers under the arm rest, and a moderately attractive white woman getting her ass plowed like a cabbage field by Floyd Mayweather.

HERE WE GO! *raises Bud Light bottle*

Oscar De La Hoya v Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Approximately how many moderately attractive white women have you deflowered on that couch, Floyd?

Oh My God, it’s a Giveaway! It’s the Next Best Prize to the Powerball!

16 May

Hey hey hey, it’s a giveaway!

That’s right, it’s the first time in my 8 year history of blogging that I have ever done a contest!  Behold the fabulousness that is my contest…

Madge tell us what you can win!

Well Bob, we’ll be giving away 5, count ’em 5 copies of my book…

“When Life Gives You Lemons… at Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!”  Making the best of the crap life gives you.

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Here’s a review from Amazon:

5.0 out of 5 stars IF YOU LIKE LAURIE NOTARO, YOU’LL LOVE MADGE MADIGAN!, May 6, 2013
Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: When Life Gives You Lemons… At Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!: Making the best of the crap life gives you (Paperback)

Sassy, opinionated, and hilarious, Madge Madigan won me over as a blogger by always managing to say (well, write) what I probably would have been thinking in any given situation she describes. Now she turns her razor-sharp wit to book-length nonfiction and blazes a fresh path through familiar domestic territory like single motherhood, dating, finances, unemployment–and well beyond.

Some essays are built on helpful advice, Madge-style. Sample titles: How Not to Have Your Obituary Read: “She Was a Pain in the Ass'” and How to Keep Your Daughter Off the Pole.

Some essays are purely satirical (I hope!), such as her illustrated campaign to land a reality television show for her “rack”

My favorite passages reflect her typically creative, no holds-barred assessment of the world as we know it. Madge on Fifty Shades: “The girl is everything that’s wrong with women, and he’s a controlling douchecopter.” Item number three on Madge’s list of dreaded Facebook cliches: “The health overshare: `I just got home from the doctor, still can’t figure out what is wrong. Still have purple ooze coming from my rectum. But doc said my mologium levels are normal. Will test my saliva tomorrow.'”

The bottom line: Buy this book. Read it. You will laugh.

******

Tell the people how they can win!

Well Bob, it’s easy the top 5 vote-getters will win a copy of the book.  Here’s how you get points…

1.  Leave a comment below telling me why you want the book. (1 point)

2. Like this blog. (1 point)  (I don’t mean force yourself to enjoy this blog, I mean actually click the Like button below)

2.  Share this post on Facebook, and provide the link below.  (1 point)

3.  Tweet the following – I just entered to win a copy of @madgemadigan‘s book “When Life Gives You Lemons…at Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!” and so can you at http://wp.me/p1NlG3-8J         (1 point every time you Tweet)

4.  Send a friend to my blog and have them leave a comment telling me who sent them (1 point)

5.  Punch Kris Jenner in the face and record it for me (10 points)  NO!  Just kidding.   Don’t waste your energy, she’ll just sue you afterwards.  Douche.

6.  Post a picture on Facebook or Twitter of you holding a sign that says “I Love Madge” and provide the link below (5 points)  I know no one will do this, but hey I like to give people lofty goals to ignore.

Winners will be announced… when I’m damn good and ready.  No, let’s say next week.  Next Monday May 2oth to be exact.  I’ll be out a of town a couple days next week gettin’ ma boy from NYU, woot!  So get your ass in gear y’all I got shit to do!

Coming up… whenever he gets HIS ass in gear… a blog from our very own Mike Danger from 98.9 The Buzz in Rochester.  Any day now, Mike…  no actually, it will be in the next few days

Danger

Danger has been a great blogging friend over the years, I appreciate his support… and vitriol.

So yea, I’m going down to NYC next week to get the boy.  The drive wouldn’t be so bad, it’s only like 3 hours to the edge of the city, unfortunately it takes another 2 hours to drive through the city to get to your destination.  Usually I like to drive to NJ, stay at a hotel there and train it in.  But this time I’m going solo and will just spend the night in the boy’s dorm room to save $ and fill up the car the next day with his crap.  We are trying to hit the punk exhibit at The Met on the way out of town, we’ll see how that goes.

While I’m down there I’m excited to meet with my fabulous literary/publishing world friends – NY Times Best Selling Author Wendy Corsi Staub and Soaps in Depth Magazine’s Editor Richard Simms!  Girl, we gonna’ get our drink on!

On a side note: anybody have any ideas to amuse myself on the ride down by myself?  I get a little antsy in my old age.  Most of my CD’s are in storage, I don’t have the special cable thingy to plug in the iPod, and talking on the cell phone in NY State is almost completely illegal now unless you talk through your car dashboard.  Fuckers.  Why don’t they then make driving with kids, dogs, cigarettes, coffee cups, sandwiches, and primping your hair illegal too?  They are just as distracting!  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph…

In other book news, I’ll be on The Brother Wease show on 95.1 Monday morning in the 7:00a hour.

So do that stuff up there and participate in my God damn contest!

Ok, then just pretend you want the book and do it anyway!

Just Jill Went Up the Hill… and Hid in the Closet

14 May

Ok, here’s resuming my Kickstarter rewards.  See the thing was, if you contributed a certain amount to my Kickstarter project, your reward was to have a blog written about you.  I have a lot of you to do… you narcissistic fucks!  Just kidding!  You were helpin’ out The Madge and I appreciate it!

So today I need to talk about my little Jilly Jill.  Jill Sweeney-Bosa.  She was a nice Irish girl, Jill Sweeney when I knew her college.  Then she goes and marries some Italian dude or something.  I met Jill my sophomore year, she lived in my dorm.  And then senior year we were apartment mates.

I can honestly say, I don’t think I have ever laughed more with someone in my entire life.  Sorry.  I have a shitload of funny friends but Jill takes the cake.  Like I wouldn’t tell her to go on stand up tour it’s just… our sense of humor is so in-sync it’s ridiculous.  Always with the pop culture references.  The other was our habit of constantly changing the words to songs and singing them like we didn’t really know what they were.  You know, like you’d catch your Mother singing the wrong words to a popular song, because she really thought that’s what it was?

Some of my favorites “Don’t yank my schlong” instead of “Don’t get me wrong” by the Pretenders.  “It’s really humid” instead of  “I’m only human” by Human League.  (which also included the words “born to lick your face” instead of “born to make mistakes”)  Good times.  Good times.

Also in the high tech age of 1986 we convened nightly in the living room to catch the MTV countdown on our state of the art black and white TV.  Back then, that’s the only way you could see videos, and yes MTV still played them.   We waited anxiously to sing to “Fight for your right to party” by Beastie Boys and to do the hammer dance to Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer”.  We were dorks.

Jill was so freakin’ funny when she told a story.  Still is.  One of my favorites is her telling a story of how she tried to escape this fraternity boy who we all knew and became an infamous womanizer. (but God he was my secret ultimate man if he wasn’t such a playboy, re: douche).  So little tiny Jilly from New Hampshire is getting hit on by uber preppy fraternity boy from Newport, Rhode Island. I don’t remember the specifics, but she ends up running out of the fraternity house party and across the street to our dorm.  He follows.  She ends up running upstairs to her room and hides in the closet.  He follows, looks around for her then leaves.  Like I said, don’t remember the specifics but to hear her talk about cowering in the closet is hillarious.  Ok, you had to be there.

One of my most memorable things is, and I don’t think I’ve ever told her this, the night she saved me.  Saved me from drowning in self-pity.  See Jill and her bestie and another roommate of ours Amy came to my wedding.  They were the only old college friends of mine that came, I don’t think I really invited many.  That’s  a long story for another time.  Anyway, ex had comandeered the guest list to be 90% his, 10% mine.  Hey, I was only 26, I didn’t know better.  My ex gets completely hammered with all of his college buddies at the wedding and completely ignores me.  But he is dancing with all of his old “girl buddies” at the wedding.

I was pissed.  I was sad… hurt, disappointed, you name it.  But I sat with my girlies and they said “screw it, he’s just drunk, don’t let that ruin your day”  So we went out on the dance floor.  I had a lot of fun.  I remembered Jill’s message for years, every time he started to spiral I thought, I (and the kids) are not gonna’ get dragged down with him.  I still tried to carry on and work hard and make the best life possible.  During marriage and after marriage.  It’s been hard but I always picture Jill and Amy saying “Oh no you don’t, Madge!  Knock off the pity party!”

Jill, I love you for always reminding me that I have value.  You always remind me that I’m funny, smart, and strong.  You my dear, are a whole lot of funny, smart, and strong and I love you for it.  And I want more Sophie stories!

Oh and it case you’d like to buy my book, you can find it here.  It’s on sale!

 

I Not Know

9 May

Yo!  I just have to take a break from book hawking and Kickstarter reward giving for a minute and discuss something.  Oh but first, you can order my book here…

“When Life Gives You Lemons… at Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!”

heh heh

This case of the the three kidnapped women found in Cleveland is yet again bringing up a thought I frequently have… “How do you not know?”

I’ve written about it several times, I’ve discussed it several times, I’ve thought about it a million times.  Hmm, maybe I should get on meds for obsessive behavior.  Oh wait, silly me I already am.  Ok, anyway, every time a news story comes up where they interview someone who knew the perp and they say “I never saw anything that would make me think he could do something like this.”, I think… really?  Not even in hindsight?  I think they must be a moron.  I know, I know, unfair of me to judge.  But who said life was fair.

Thus the title of this blog.  Recently in our house we were watching old home videos and in one, my now 16 year old daughter was 2 years old and kept answering questions with “I not know” in a really cute perky voice. (and every time you can hear me in the background correcting her, “It’s I don’t know”, what a bitch)  Yes, ignorance is bliss… and adorable.   And that’s what a lot of people sound like some times, an oblivious 2 year old.

I’m not faulting everyone.  I do believe there are some people that could pull off a bizarre double life.  Look at that BTK killer in Kansas, he was killing people for like 30 years and all the while he had a wife and job and was a scout master.  WTF?  But I suppose hiding the rope and knife you used to “Bind, Torture, Kill” with is easier than hiding 3 women chained up in your house… for 10 years no less!

And there are those people that were fugitives and started a new life somewhere.  No one in their new life had any idea they were wanted felons.

I just… ya’ know… it’s like how I always go back to some of these mass shooting people that had amassed an arsenal in their homes and their parents never noticed.  Really, no one ever thought, “Hmmm, maybe this isn’t so healthy”?  I kind of think that’s what happened with the Newtown massacre, the mother of the killer was a gun enthusiast and it never phased her, I guess she thought the more the merrier!  Jesus, I can sense every time there is something bothering my kids… and then I ask them about it, and we talk.  Wow, there’s a revolutionary idea.  And it can be something innocuous like they just got a crappy grade on a test or one of their friends laughed at them when they fell in gym.  How could you not know your child has the desire to kill?!

Ok, I have to admit I couldn’t tell you what my neighbors do.  Well except for the one that we are friends with and my daughter babysits for.  Oh and the drunken idiots that come home after closing time that live in the multi-family rental houses, they are out in the street announcing what they are doing.  But behind closed doors, I have no idea.  So, I don’t fault the neighbors in the Cleveland case.  But really, family members?

In piecing it together from what I’ve read, he was married in the early 2000’s and it looks like some time overlap from the kidnappings and the marriage… how could she not know?  But I could be wrong on the timeline.  I do know that he beat the snot out of the wife several times and she had an order of protection.  That alone would tip me off that he wasn’t such a swell guy.

Maybe I’m just too paranoid and nosy.  I notice everything.  I have incredibly strong intuition.  My Mother always told me she thought I was “fey” which is an Irish thing that means you are kind of clairvoyant I guess.  Like you can tell what’s going to happen or sense things.  Anyway, even when my ex-husband was cheating on me while I was pregnant with our third child, I knew.  I just knew.  Then every time I brought up evidence he turned it around and said I was crazy and paranoid and yada yada.  That sent me in circles, I knew I was right.  I was a raving anxietal mess.

Anyway, how can you not know?  Oh like the basketball player Jason Collins that just came out?  Hi ex-fiancee’ was all surprised and broken up.  Dude, I can tell you when a 2 year old is gay.  I dated a guy a long time ago that eventually came out, I totally had my suspicions.  It’s pretty easy when a guy keeps pestering his girl to have a threesome with another guy… and to wear a strap-on for him.  But I digress…

Is it me?  Do I have special powers or do most people have suspicions about things.  Or are most people just not that observant with others?  I can’t say that I was ever completely fooled by someone.  You know something I never saw coming and I was totally blown away by.  So what about you?  Has anyone ever completely fooled you?

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