Archive | December, 2012

I… Got Nothin’. Really.

27 Dec

No, I didn’t run off to New York City to live my dream of working the door at CBGB, because of course CBGB is closed you silly squirrels!   In the last week I’ve been busy moving, getting ready for and having Christmas, settling in, bringing home college age children, looking for a job, and doing laundry.  So, who has time to write?

Since I have nothing useful to write about, I just have some random thoughts…

Live with Kelly and Michael has turned into a bigger cheeseball fest than when Regis was on.  Actually I think it was kind of cutting edge with Regis since he was sarcastic and by the end just didn’t give a shit.

Why is it that I hate most popular movies?  I hate everything that everyone likes – Twilight, Titanic, Hunger Games, Batman.  I’d rather see quirky stuff with lots of clever wit.  Or maybe I’m still uber trendy and just hate things simply because everyone else hates them?

At 47 years old I am losing some of my super powers.  Moving wasn’t as easy this time.  When I was 35, I could move an entire house by myself.  No really.  I was like the freakin’ ant and the rubber tree plant.  Everyone knows an ant… can’t… move a rubber tree plant?  Bullshit.

I think this Kristen Stewart chick is the biggest miserable twat that ever lived.

I’m still finishing up my book.  It required more work than I thought.  Well, I mean I’m not satisfied, but I guess at some point I’ll have to stop fussing with it and just publish it.   It’s like sending a kid off to school on picture day, you gotta’ stop messing with the cowlick at some point and just send them off.

I am the original Grumpy Cat…

Grumpy Cat

I’m really tired of people who can’t have an intelligent debate.  It’s like they are having a completely different argument.  I was “discussing” with someone the other day… ok well wait I was trying to challenge a point that they made, which was that putting guidelines on certain amendments was “treasonous”.  I was trying to point out that there have been many guidelines and regulations put on amendments over the years, so obviously it’s not unconstitutional or whatever.  They immediately started yelling, “You want to take away my guns!!!!”.  To which I lol-ed because I never said that, nor do I feel that.

People amaze me with their “tunnel hearing”.  They only hear what they want to, or what they think they should, or just what they hear in their own head… I don’t know maybe they are schizophrenic, anyway…

Some people trying to “debate” remind me of this…

I can’t wait to be an old kooky broad.  I’m actually looking forward to being like a Joan Rivers or Betty White, they can say whatever they hell they want, be as raunchy as they want, and they can get away with it.   Maybe I’ll even cultivate a wild Phyllis Diller appearance, what would I have to lose?   My dignity?  Oh hell no, I lost that the first time I left some bonus material on the gurney during child birth… Sayonara splendor!

All right, I’ve got to go shovel.  Or rather first trudge through the 10 inches of snow in the backyard to get to the shed to find the shovel, then trudge back and then shovel the driveway!  Or I’ll just wait until my son wakes up…

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FB Posts from the Last Time it was 12/12/12

12 Dec

Everyone is making such a big stink about today being 12/12/12 on social media today.

Here are some Facebook posts and Tweets from the last time it was 12/12/12:

“Just got my tickets for the Ziegfeld Follies, awesome!”

“Went down to the apothecary, got my marijuana and heroin but they were all out of morphine. Pity, I have such a headache.”

“Please pray for my neighbor, he has diarrhea and fear he may pass.  This will make 6 people I have known that died from either diarrhea or influenza this year. Please make this stop.  Re-Tweet to stop diarrhea deaths.”

“Was thinking about taking a train ride to that new state of Arizona for my vacation this year.  Any suggestions?”

“Posting pic of my sweet new ride, a 1912 Brush Roadster. I got it all the way up to 20mph! Shhh, don’t tell ayone”

autos3238

“If Taft wins this election, I’m moving to Canada!  Tariff rates will be through the roof!”

Taft meme

“I’m worried about the people in Albania, how will they survive without being a part of the Ottoman Empire”

“Going to this brand new Fenway Park place tonight! Can’t wait to see the Boston Red Sox kick some NY Highlanders ass!”

“Anyone looking for a job, come on over to Kodak, they’re hiring like crazy! This place will give anyone in Rochester a job, you’ll be living like a fat cat forever!”

“Madge is listening to “When I Lost You” w.m. Irving Berlin, on Spotify”

“I am soooo jealous! The farmhouse down the road just got electricity! I hate my parents for not letting us get electricity.”

“Oh my God, it’s 12/12/12!  Too bad the world is ending in 2000 and we will never see another 12/12/12”

Titanic meme

My First Test Video Blog-ish Kinda’ Thing…

11 Dec

A little test run at my webcam.  What do you think, does the webcam suck?  Suggestions?  Thoughts?

 

What Makes You Popular?

7 Dec

This little tidbit today is more of a discussion than a blog.  That’s right damnit, I want you people to actually do something rather than just sit there and have me entertain you!   heh, just kidding.

I want to ask some questions of all you bloggers out there.  And readers of blogs too, I need your input.

I’ve been blogging for a long time.  In just a couple years back in 2005-2007 I had an incredibly large following on MySpace.  But then I let that kind of die out and took a break and tried to start up a couple different times.  I have a decent following, but hey I wouldn’t mind a ginormous following in hopes of one day pimping my books and monetizing things.  So, my question is for those of you who have ginormous followings… how did you get there?

Yes, yes, I know all the basics.  But at what point did you jump up to thousands of followers?

I’ve read all the articles.  But there is a lot of stuff I just don’t want to do.  Such as…

I can’t stand being an attention whore.  Ok, I don’t mind ya’ know, being the center of attention but just like to write about how fabulous I am and go all over the internet saying how fabulous I am just seems… annoying.  Do you believe the hype?  Do you get roped in because someone touts that they are hot or funny or a top blogger?

Next, I can’t stand f*cking contests.  No f*cking isn’t a verb there, it’s an adjective. Giving away stuff seems so cheesy.  I’m one of those “keepin’ it real” broads.  Hell, I got into radio in the 80s because I was all about the music.  I got out of radio in the 90s because I quickly found out it was all about the money, and DJs had no input or creative license whatsoever.  True to my art, man!  So, um yea, do contests help?  Do readers think they are cheesy?

What about Twitter?  Do any of you have tens of thousands of followers?  How did you get there?  I have just over a thousand.  How do you become a Mega-Tweeter?  And Facebook likes?  How do you amass thousands?

Is it all about begging people to share your stuff?  Is it about content?  You hope your stuff is just interesting enough that people will pass it around?  Honestly, that’ s kind of been my plan, other than pimping my blog on Twitter, FB, LinkedIn, Google+, etc.

Thinking about trying some YouTube videos.  I’ve been told I have good comedic delivery and a very expressive face.  But I don’t want to be one of those A-holes that sits there and rambles and has nothing really prepared to say.  I want to prepare something good and have my hair and makeup did first.

So, let’s hear it bloggers and consumers of blogs… what creates a gigantic following?  See, I’m a bit of a pain in the ass because I’m not like other people.  I have a very particular sense of humor and I only want to read blogs that have an extremely clever wit.  I’ll check out what’s popular, just to keep on top of things but honestly I don’t find much that I love.  Sorry kids.  But I try to check everyone out!  I just can’t use my thought patterns as a gauge, ‘cuz well, like I said, I’m a pain in the ass.

Please tell me your thoughts…

Clearing the Crappy Air…

4 Dec

Do you believe in bad luck, bad energy, bad juju or ya’ know just like a perpetual black cloud over you?  I think I do.  I’m pretty sure I haz it.  Hell, at this point I may even be possessed by demons of destitution, despair, famine and pestilence.  I like the word pestilence.  But no really, I think I need an exorcism.

I’ve had a string of bad juju since, well really if I look at it overall, I would say about from the age of 16.  I had actually pretty much a picture perfect life up until 16.  I lived in a small city that I loved, I was a very active child, involved in every sport I could possibly handle.  By high school I was an A student, a star swimmer, a cheerleader, had a boyfriend who was two years older, president of his class, football player, swimmer, A student.  I was thrilled to grow up with all the same traditions my siblings and even my Father experienced growing up in the same town.  Things were awesome.  I was happy.

Little Madge

 

Yes, that’s little Madge.  Can’t you tell by the hair?

 

Then we moved.  I moved to a town about 2 hours away.  My Dad got a new job, it was unavoidable on his part.  We moved to a new town where I tried to just continue as I had been, a swimmer, cheerleader, get along with everyone even the in-crowd.  But they weren’t havin’ it.  A lot of people were very mean.  “Who does she think she is, just coming in here trying to be all friendly?”  But I ignored it.  I went to a lot of parties and drank a lot.   I put on a front but I was really sad, I missed my old school.  Basically, I was depressed.  My grades totally went in the shitter.

MeanGirlsSoundtrackPretty much sums it up.

 

 

Yea, by senior year I was in the in-crowd but it felt manufactured.  I loved my friends that eventually truly welcomed me, but I still always felt like an outsider.  These weren’t the people I “grew up” with.  I felt like a fish out of water.  But I still drank and my grades weren’t great.  And yes, there were still some people that were really mean to me.

scan0006

 

This was the miserable face I had most of the time 16 and on.

 

I’m pretty sure this triggered years of being prone to anxiety and depression thus precipitating my “bad juju” streak.  A lot of stuff happened after that including going to college first to a college that was depressing as hell to me, transferred to a college where I drank a whole lot and did poorly, moving to NC and calling off an engagement, moving back up to NY and marrying a controlling alcoholic, being cheated on while pregnant, divorce, a string of uber shitty jobs, poverty, raising 3 kids on my own, eviction, foodstamps, more shitty jobs… it just never ends.  Enough all-fucking-ready!  Pardon my language… but it’s pretty frustrating.

scan0012

 

A rare picture of me smiling in 1992, putting on a front, I was married and at a wedding.  The night before this wedding was an absolute living hell, and if I didn’t pretend to be happy around his friends, I’d get more living hell when I got home.

(remember we all had that Pretty Woman polk-a-dot dress back then?)

The only saving grace I have are my amazing children, a manfriend that tries to be supportive in his own sarcastic way, and some good friends and family.  Well, I guess that’s a lot to be thankful for, but when you’re living in a van down by the river, having nice people around you doesn’t exactly cancel it out.  Not to be ungrateful but ya’ know what I’m saying.  Does the horrific-ness of being in a Turkish prison get cancelled out because you received flowers from a good friend or a visit from George Clooney?  Not exactly.

Madge and kids wedding photographer

 

Me and my babies at a wedding.  See I put on a good front, no one ever knows how poor I am, I still try to have dignity.  I should write a book…

Sensing a theme?  Putting on a front, it’s what I do.  Well, try to do.  Here on my blog, I complain.  Out in the real world, nobody wants a Mopey Molly.  I get it right most of the time.  However, a lot of times I have a horrible poker face.

So anyway, it’s time to get out from under this cloud.  Do any of you believe in that?  I’m starting to get rid of a bunch of stuff.  I’m moving because they keep raising my rent here and now that I’m down to only 2 that go to private school, it doesn’t matter where I live.  I can hop a few feet over the city line and live cheaper.  So I’ve been the Craigslist Queen, selling all kinds of crap left behind by my ex-husband and stuff we had bought while married.  It’s time.  All my stuff is a mish-mash of junk from over the years.  The only furniture I have that goes together or I bought new was my matching Ethan Allen couch and love seat that were gorgeous when we bought them… almost 15 years ago.  Since then it’s been spilled on, peed on, clawed and gnawed on by pets (and probably children as well).  Nothing else matches.  I’ve never even had a proper bed, just one of those metal frames with box spring and mattress.  It’s all second hand junk.  But at least it has been mine.  But it may be time to regroup.  You reap what you sow right?

Back up… I know you’re probably wondering, “If your life is so bad, why do you have kids at private school?”  Because they are very smart and got scholarships there.  I’ll do anything to get my kids the best experience if they earn it.  Education is of utmost importance in our family.

…I’m hoping this purging of stuff will clear the air.  I think I have a handle on the anxiety and depression that often caused me to make poor decisions or prevented me from taking action to cure things.  I think I have a handle on avoiding making knee jerk poor choices.  I think I have better judgement and patience now to avoid impulsively taking shitty jobs just because I need a job.  (Tip: if the company acts like they need a savior to come in and make them money, don’t take the job, they probably aren’t making payroll)  I think I have the tools now to kick ass and take names.

kungfu

 

If I had more time, I’d Photoshop me in there.  Maybe later…

But I just think I need to clear the air, get rid of the old bad energy hanging around.  Does anyone believe in this?  I was once told if you want something, you need to make space for the universe to give it to you.  If you want money, clean out your wallet.  If you want a man/woman, clean out your bedroom (seriously that’s what they said).  If you want a new job or just a job, um I don’t remember or never figured that out apparently: I guess clean out your desk or computer or something.  Maybe that’s it, or maybe it’s just looking at things everyday that subconsciously bring you back to a bad place?  I see my couches everyday that remind me of being shackled… shackled to a life lived in anxiety and fear of a certain someone.  Maybe it’s as simple as that.  Maybe it’s the calling from a higher power to clean our auras?  Maybe it’s the psychology of associative thought?  Or it’s hormonal… who knows?

Dear readers I ask you… do you think it’s the whole bad energy thing or as simple as psychological triggers that keep us stuck in a certain state?  Do you believe in purging things to get rid of bad juju?  Have you ever purged and had it make a difference?  Examples please…

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