Archive | November, 2012

Hello, I Loathe You – Being Friendly to People You Can’t Stand

29 Nov

I’ve always taught my children that “hate” is a very strong and serious word.   Unless of course you are referring to shoes.  You can definitely hate ugly shoes.  Oh also you are allowed to hate that disgusting sound that guys make when they are trying to clear their sinuses via their throat and mouth.  However, we shouldn’t use it regarding people.  Never once have my kids played the “I hate you” card on me or any of their siblings or Father or friends.  I’m pretty proud of that.  *pats back*  I’ve taught them that words can hurt and can come back to bite them.

But you know, sometimes it does slip out when say, someone is watching TV and maybe like Teresa Guidice from RHONJ will come on and my daughter will say, “Oh my God, I hate her”.  Sometimes I’ll say “Now now, hate is a very strong word” and… sometimes I’ll just forget about it because I hate her too.  I mean, I “can’t stand” her.

I try to use the words “I can’t stand…”.  By the way, I don’t know where my aversion to the word hate came from, I guess my Mother.  She always said not to use it, I guess that’s her attempt at a kinder, gentler world.

So, to get to the main point of this blog… there are people I just can’t stand in this world.  I also pride myself on being honest and true to my beliefs.  But I do think being honest and true to my beliefs doesn’t mean I have to be an asshole to people I don’t care for.  Right?

I can’t be the only jerk that has people in my life that I can’t stand, yet I see them regularly and treat them civilly, nay even pleasantly?  Am I a two-faced twat?  (in my world twat is pronounced as the British do with a short A instead of a long one, sounds less offensive, like cat)  Please say it isn’t so?  Come on, really guys… I’m just being nice.  Or instead of a pleasant greeting should I look at them, fold my arms, and say “You annoy the shit out of me”?

Really, don’t you have people that you have to interact with frequently that you just can’t stand?  The very thought of them makes your skin crawl and your eye twitch?  I do.  Ok, I’ll tell you a secret…

There is a person who I interact with… hmmm, you never know who reads this blog, I’ll try to be vague.  This person, well, um… I run into them sometimes at a place that is very important to my friend so I can’t make waves.  But um… I have interactions with this person outside of that place and listening to this person makes me want to stab my own eyeballs with a rusty screwdriver and then kick them in the face with my fabulous Jessica Simpson stilettos I got at TJ Maxx for $15.  This person is sooooo narcissistic, a complete attention whore, and has a superiority complex.  Yes, they think everything they know or do is far superior to you.  But they aren’t snobby and dry, they are condescending in a cutesie way.  It’s maddening because it’s so well masked, those without superior intellect like myself can’t sense it.  (ya see what I did there, oh the irony)  And worst of all they think they are really hip when they are incredibly lame.  I find that to be the most offensive.  Clutch the pearls!

But it is necessary to keep the peace.  Right?  RIGHT?  Or am I being a big phony baloney because I really loathe this person down deep inside?  Oh yes, I love the word loathe… I guess loathe > hate, but hate sounds more angry.  Loathe just portrays utter contempt.  Ok whatever, it’s semantics… take it up with Madelyn.  That’s my Mother.  I guarantee she will still tell you not to say hate, even though she says she hates Rush Limbaugh.  Again, do not argue with this 86 year old feisty Irish woman… you will not win.

I digress… do we always have to be “a hunert”?  That’s how the cool gangsta urban kids say “100%” as in “I’m being 100% honest with you”.  Must I always be completely honest in regards to my feelings or dealings with people?  I kind of “hate” myself every time I am nice to someone I can’t stand but then I also feel I did the right thing.   Ya’ know being Catholic and all, that whole “Do unto others” jazz.  But it’s a yucky feeling when those two feelings clash and I feel the need to shower and scrub with a loofah.  But I guess my final thought is, there wouldn’t be terrorism or hate crimes or war if people just kept their feelings of dislike/contempt/loathing… even hate, to themselves.  *kicks dirt*


I Got Yer Turkey Right Here…

21 Nov

This is my cliche’ Thanksgiving blog.  Just puttin’ that out there…

It’s a little sappy/drab, if you want funnier/snarkier go to my next blog  “Hello, I Loathe You – Being Friendly to People You Can’t Stand”

I’m sitting here waiting for my son to get off the train from New York City.  This is the first time I’ve seen him since he left for college 3 months ago.  I can’t wait.  However, I am trying to prepare myself for a young man who may be slightly indifferent and prefers to go see his friends.  He’s usually a loving kid but I remember how I was when I would come home from college… see ya’ Mom and Dad!

I was thinking back on all the Thanksgivings of my youth.  I was trying to think if anything unusual or humorous happened.  I know it’s totally unbelievable but in a family of six kids… there was never an “infamous” Thanksgiving.  Not even any slightly humorous, unusual moments.  Hmmm.  perhaps I don’t have the dysfunctional family that I imagined?

This year will be a little bittersweet, I’m happy my boy will be home, but it’s the first year without my Dad.  He passed away October 25th of this year (yea not even a month yet).  While over the years I have had numerous Thanksgivings where he wasn’t physically present since I live in New York state and my parents retired to Arizona 25 years ago, I spoke to him every year.  I always speak to my parents every holiday if I’m not with them.  I made a point to speak to my Dad on Thanksgiving because I knew it was his favorite holiday.  My Dad loved to eat.  It was almost a spiritual experience for him.  And my Dad was not a fat guy, to the contrary my Dad was a runner all his life… which created the need for him to eat a lot.

I guess maybe that’s the most notable thing I remember about Thanksgiving is my Father and Brothers running 10K races.  I grew up 30 minutes south of Buffalo, NY.  Every year my Father and Brothers went into Buffalo to run in the Turkey Trot 10K.  Thank God nobody made me go and stand out in the freezing cold for hours to watch this race ‘cuz they would have seen a tantrum of epic proportions.  (And then I would have had my ass kicked and sent to sit in the car, so it’s all good).  Whoever else was home stayed and “helped” my Mom.  But the trouble was as we were being tortured with the saliva-inducing intoxicating aroma of cooking turkey, we had to wait for the guys to come home to eat.  And wait.  And wait.  And wait.

My Dad and Bros always won their age categories, so of course they had to wait around for the awards ceremony.  And it was downtown Buffalo and there were bars nearby, I think usually “having a beer” was involved afterward too.  And back then there were no cell phones, we never knew when they were coming home.  It was like freakin’ waiting for Civil War soldiers to return home.  Perhaps a carrier pigeon will arrive soon?

Then when they finally do walk in the door, they all had the nerve to want to take showers!  Harumph!  So what if you just ran 6.2 miles in freezing rain or snow and you are sweaty and wet and freezing… I’m hungry!  Well, thank God we had two bathrooms each with a shower.  Ok ok, you’re clean, let’s go.  Oh no!  My Mother, the Queen Mother as we have always called her, commands that all wet nasty running gear be hung on the clothesline in the basement or hung over the drainage tub.  Jesus Mary and Joseph!  Don’t you people know what’s at stake here?!!!  Food!  Food that’s losing it’s freshness and warmth!  I can only eat so many more cheese and crackers and relish tray!!!

Finally, we can sit down!  Yea yea “Bless us Oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ, Our Lord. Amen. ”  *Squeal*  Oh my God, seriously we can’t eat until everyone has filled their plate?  What kind of proper by the Emily Post Etiquette Book family is this?  Ok, ok hurry up everybody, just get what you need, you can get more later.

Alright all done.  Dig in!  I’m so starved that I wolf it all down in 5 minutes and I feel like I’m going to be sick.  Years later I learned the trick of pacing myself.  In doing so, I would always be the last one sitting at the table with my Dad, who as I said earlier loved him some Thanksgiving.  I would be slowly picking at my food as my Dad was piling on more helpings.  I would try and talk to him but would have to wait until the chewing stopped just briefly enough for a quick answer.  You know Emily Post and all…

I’m the youngest, so at various stages the older kids were drinking.  When everyone was full of lots of wine and food and wanted to lay down in front of the TV and watch The Walton’s Thanksgiving Special… My sister Jane and I insisted everyone come down to the basement to see the “show” we had been working on all day.  Yea, I was that kid.

But karma is a bitch and I was subjected to many a “show” after holiday meals later by nieces and nephew and eventually my own children.  As I begged in my head to please make it stop, I knew God was punishing me.

Oh look at the time!  Time to go get the boy from the station!  I had plenty of lovely Thanksgivings when my kids were young but they were a bit chaotic and I seemed to never sit down.  Now as my kids are all teenagers I’m looking forward to some great dinners filled with laughter and love.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Safe travels to anyone en route!

If I Scratch Your Back, Will You… Care What Color My Nails Are?

15 Nov

I’m not sure what I think of this color yet…

It’s OPI – “Suzi Take the Wheel”

Yes, those are my real nails.  In a dim light this color looks cool, but in really bright light it looks like it’s flourescent or something.

Where the hell does OPI come up with these names?  That’s some dumbass stuff, must be insider jokes from their Marketing Department at OPI.  “Hey Suzi remember when we went out after work for 2 for 1 happy hour and we all got so hammered and made you drive?  Let’s name this dingy gray color after that!”  Whah?  (And by the way dingy means dull and drab, dinghy is a small boat).  Yea, I don’t know either.  I found this color in a basket at the front desk of the salon for $5.  Ya’ know how they always put the colors that don’t sell up there to get rid of them?  I likes me some trendy colors so long as it doesn’t look stupid (always ask my daughters first).  Guys, you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about do you?  Well, except a few of my drag queen and transgender friends – Hi Girls!!!!

But guys, even if you did know what I was talking about… do you care?  I mean really, do you even notice a woman’s nails?  Have you ever said, “Hey that’s a nice color.”?  I’ve heard guy friends of mine get creeped out by a girl with ugly man hands, but I’ve never heard them remark on pretty hands.

What about this?

Do you think those look pretty?  Sexy?  Slutty?  Trashy?  Stupid?  I’m curious.  Or do women do that style just for other women?

How about these?

I love the ones on the right.  My one daugher’s hands look exactly like that right now (sans wedding set), she has nice short nails, and pretty much that exact same color on (which is another OPI of mine).  But the ones on the left?  That shit drives me CRAZY!!!!  I can’t stand those big ole Theresa-Caputo-I-Speak-to-the-Dead spatula nails!  What is the purpose?  They look ridiculous!  Remember how back in the late 70s or 80s people had a “coke nail”?  (For the youngins, one finger nail kept extra long to use as a makeshift spoon to snort coke from)  This is a whole set of nails you could scoop out a whole Apple Brown Betty with!

Men, do you find that attractive?  Do you even care?  Do you ever notice makeup?  Other than when it’s over done and garish?  Do you ever notice clothes?  Other than when it’s barely containing some body parts that are just bursting to get out?  Oh shoes!  How about shoes?  Ever notice those?  Really, on that one I don’t give a rat’s ass, I love me some shoes.  But just so I make you feel like I’m listening, do you ever admire shoes on a woman?  Ok, whatever…

Jewelry?  Accessories?  Well I know you care about lingerie.  And hey, speaking of lingerie… don’t ever buy that for a woman for Christmas, Birthday, or Valentine’s, because we know damn well that present isn’t for us, it’s for you.  Buy us something we really covet or need, then go buy the lingerie and give it to us for a just because gift.  And yes, we all know you buy it as a “I’m not getting enough sex from you” signal.  Duly noted.

So, guys do you ever notice any of this stuff?  Do you care?  Ladies do you look at the details on a guy?

Act your Age, Not Your Bra Size

13 Nov

Age is just a number… isn’t it?

I have no idea what the title of this blog means, but it just popped into my head and sounded funny.

I’m forty *muffled next number* years old.  Sometimes emotionally, I feel 5.  (you know when you get scared or lonely?).  Hipness-wise I feel about oh 27. (I know what’s trending but have enough sense to know what’s gonna’ last)  Physically I feel about, eh 35.  Maturity, I feel every bit of my forty *muffled next number* years.  Fun seeking-wise I feel… some days I feel 14, some 30, some 21, some 4.  My fun ranges from primitive toddler motions, to kid silliness, to complete drunken filthy raunch.  So I’ve got that goin’ for me…

Some people say, act how you feel.  But what if you’re a 45 year old woman that feels like an 18 year old slutty girl?  That’s really sad and embarrassing, in my opinion.  But if that’s what she wants to do… should she, can she?  Should anyone be able to do whatever the hell they want?

I was watching that show “Couples Therapy” on Vh1.   And they had that internet attention whore  girl Courtney Stodden who at 16 married some has been actor named Doug Hutchison that’s 53 (or something) years old.  Are either one of them acting their age by choosing someone in such a completely different stage of life?  Should we care?  Me personally, I could never date anyone with more than like a maybe 7 year difference either way.  I like someone who can get my pop culture references.  I don’t want to have to explain who Mr. Whipple is to anyone.

Now this broad does not dress her age.  Well, now she is 18 and I think she dresses more like an over the hill stripper or hooker.  The other people on Couples Therapy said her dress and behavior were distracting.  She said she was going to dress how she wanted because she was saving lives.  *ahem*  Yes, she said people on the internet were thanking her profusely for just being who she was and making them feel free to be who they want to be regardless of what anyone thinks.


Oh sorry.  I didn’t know people feeling free to dress like a stripper was the Lord’s work.

Well, ya’ know, maybe I’m wrong.  I know not everyone likes the way I act or dress.  I’ve been into the punk scene since I was in junior high in the late 70s.  Haven’t always dressed all out, but I’ve been supportive of those that do.  So when I do, it’s me, middle aged woman dressing like a 19 year old punk.  Is that any better than Slutty McSlutterson up there?

I have two teenage daughters.  I would neeeeeeever let them go out looking like that.  And I don’t think they would, they believe in themselves.  But ya’ know it doesn’t mean I don’t have to remind them that they are 13 and 15 and not a 26 year old at a nightclub, every once in a while.  Let’s stay in your age range girls, there are a certain number of men out there that like the youngins and don’t have good intentions, let’s cut down the odds of approach.

And yes when I was younger I struggled with self-respect and self-esteem.  All females do at one point.  You want attention but your Mother says, “You don’t want THAT kind of attention”.  You want a boy to like you but will giving him a handy make him fall in love with you?  Odds are no.   Will dressing like the cool alternative kid win more friends and influence people?  Will it get you a job as an executive?  Probably not, unless it’s a record company.

When I was in college I had the sides of my head shaved.  I thought I was wicked cool.  I was making an “I don’t conform for anybody” statement.  However, as I was getting ready to graduate I realized no one in the regular working world wants to give me a real job with this assinine haircut.  It was 1987, things might be a little different now, everybody has piercings and tattoos and non-conformist stuff now.  But I was a rebel.  Rawr!   I was 21 but I needed to start acting like a responsible 30 year old, in order for me to be attractive to employers.

It all depends on what you’re trying to achieve I guess.  I didn’t come to a clear conclusion here, just throwing out thoughts against the wall and see what sticks.  Ya’ know Lady Gaga or this Courtney chick, they want press, and that’s exactly what they get.  Lady Gaga still gets props because she does have some actual musical talent (playing several instruments and what not), so her whacky gear suits her.  This Courtney girl, gets press and probably some money from selling nudies, but respect, acclaim, reverance… nuh uh.  But if she doesn’t care… who are we to say, right?  I don’t know.  To each his own. But what if your “own” puts you in danger of being raped or attacked (wearing a t-shirt with a racial slur or promoting gay rights)?  Dress at your own risk, I guess?  Good luck out there, folks.

Egocentrist, Tool, or Just Stupid… You Make the Call!

8 Nov

I have to tell you something that drives me crazy… people that are quite self-impressed and feel that their opinions and practices usurp all others.

Not to go on about this but, 2 weeks ago today my Father passed away.  I saw him just before he passed, knowing he didn’t have much time left, so I took great care in our communication.  I wanted to know, hear, observe, take it all in.  The one thing that was still prevalent, even though he could barely get a couple words out in a whisper… he still had the self-deprecation goin’ on.  lol  And that’s where I get it from.

My Father wasn’t one to ever hand out compliments and he even went so far as every time you did something good he would say something to bring you back to Earth, you know so getting an A on a test wouldn’t give you a big head. *eye roll*  Prime example, my Dad confided in me once that he thought my daughters were beautiful, I said thanks I try to tell them that.  He abruptly said in disbelief, “Oh you don’t tell them that do you?!”  I said, “Yes of course I do”.  He then told me that would go straight to their head and make them vain.  Shakin’ ma head…

My parents have always been huge on being humble and modest. So much so, they sent us in reverse, I think with the Irish Catholic guilt that we think we do in fact suck and have no business being on this Earth.  haha  No really, I’m not kidding…

I know they love us, it’s just how they were raised.  Spare the positive reinforcement, spoil the child?  Maybe so.

Anyway, in being raised this way, it’s made me really hate people who are full of themselves.  I’ve had to find a good balance between being confident (which I had been told I seemed to be lacking at times) and being, well… a douchebag.  I was searching for this balance for a while.  So much so as I became attracted to cocky men for a while.  You know that old, seek out in others what you are lacking thing…  Whatever, I got over that.  Now I seem to be hyper-sensitive to it though.  Whenever I encounter someone that appears to be egocentric, I start to steer away.  How do I know?  Here are some clues:

1. In a conversation with an egocentric person, you will never be asked one single question about yourself.  The entire conversation will be a monologue about how great and important is said egoist.  Yes yes benching 400 lbs is quite impressive… (I feigned a gall bladder attack to leave that convo)

2. When you are allowed to say something about yourself, such as “I like pie”.  A normal person will give a non-threatening, “I agree to disagree”-type answer like, “Oh I’m glad you do, don’t know why, I’ve just never really taken to pie.”  An egoist will give a very passive-aggressive answer with intonation and language that is very emphatic that they detest pie and in fact CAKE is FAR superior, thusly you like pie = you are inferior, they are superior.  You know…  Me: “I like pie.”  Them: “Oh I don’t!  I never eat pie!  It’s just terrible!  I eat cake!  Cake is amazing! Ugh, I don’t know who could eat pie”.  Me: (meekly)  “Well I, I do, I eat pie, I like it.”  And… scene.

3.  Egoist will tell you the same stories over an over about the same things because they are so unaware of anything but themselves, they lose track of what they’ve said.  Also if an important event happens, they will tell you stories about it for days, weeks, months in order to hang on to that… thing… that moment in the spotlight or feeling of importance.

4.  An egocentric person can also be a narcissist.  (every single God damn time I spell that word I always have to look it up, I can never remember the balance of C’s to S’s)  A narcissist is impressed by appearance, especially they’re appearance.  And they are usually not that great looking and have delusions of grandeur and have unrealistic expectations that they should only be paired with a super model (male or female) like themselves, when in fact they look like Ernest Borgnine.  This person can also be found on Facebook with 20 albums containing 200 pictures each of the exact same selfie (a pic taken of ones self with own camera phone), trying to look sexy with pouty lips.  This same person will take every opportunity to post a bikini or shirtless pic.  Or the worst offender… the cutesy pic.  Aren’t I such a wild and crazy hot MILF with a flat stomach?  No, no really you’re not.

5. The egoist will always walk 10 steps ahead of you (literally not figuratively) and will never wait to walk with you equally side by side.  Other body language dominance includes but not limited to – shaking your hand at a downward angle, puffing chest out (male or female), looking down at you, looking around while talking to you, constant primping and posturing.

6. Men wearing Affliction, Ed Hardy, True Religion and any designer logo on a woman is egocentric and well… just douchebaggy in general.  You look like a tool.  Stop it.

7. The egoist is completely unaware of people trying to get to the bar they are blocking, those in a hurry behind them in a checkout line, those trying to get around their cart that is in the middle of the aisle, and those who they are annoying the hell out of while talking really loudly on their cell phones in public places.  Either that or they do all those things because they are incredibly stupid and oblivious or possibly Autistic.  (not making fun of Autism, Autism is the only clinical, viable excuse for being socially unaware or unable to read social cues… well that or severe mental illness, so I guess I shouldn’t judge)

8.  The only reason an egoist will do anything for other people is to make themselves look good.  They want their child to succeed because it will make them look good and they can brag, not necessarily to make the child feel good.  They will buy you a present then brag about what a great present they bought, they they will ask you a thousand times for a verbal pat on the back, “Wasn’t that an awesome present?  Yea, I’m awesome, who’s the best husband?”  *gag*  And you will be reminded of said present or gesture for years to come.  This person would never ever ever be an anonymous donor to a philanthropy or non-profit… they would demand a wing of the building be named after them.  And yea, it’s the same guy that will brag about and remind a woman how many times he made her climax, not so she felt good, just cuz’ ya’ know… it’s all about how great a lover is he. *puke vomit gag*

9.  The egoist will constantly remind you of how hot, smart, successful, strong, fit, rich, talented, good at whatever they are.  Don’t ever tell someone you are hot, that’s just laughable… and sad.

I know I shouldn’t be so bent out of shape about these types.  I guess I’m just mad at myself for letting them get over on me in the past.  But we all have certain things that just get under our skin and annoy the crap out of us.  Mine is those people… and annoying voices.  Oh God the cadence of the Kardashian girls speech makes me want to stab my ear drums.  So yea, stay away from people who do the above things because trust me… you will never get your emotional needs met.

No One is Buying a Yacht with Government Assistance

1 Nov

Well if there hasn’t been enough damn stuff to write about this week…

As I’m sitting here getting a blown out tire fixed, I wanted to do something to pass the time.  Why not write?  What to write about?

At the age of 89, my Father passed away on Thursday.  I got to see him before he passed, what a blessing.  He had a wonderfully long life.  I’d like to write about that, but I think it’s too soon.  And out of respect for my family, I’ll just wait on that.  It stirred some deep thoughts on spirituality that are quite interesting though.  Another time…

We had Hurricane Sandy blow through a couple days ago.  My son was in the thick of it in New York City at NYU.  That was a bit harrowing, worrying about my pookie.  But he’s fine, no classes, no electricity for a while.  My nerves have finally calmed, so I’ll wait on writing about that.

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally, I found a draft I started in my posts… why not finish that?

I’m a bit hesitant, as I’m not really in the mood to listen to some name calling from some anti-government assistance lunkheads on here.  But I just want to share this story.  And if one of you comes in here in the comments throwing out the words, “liberal”, “bleeding heart”, “asshole”, or other derogatory terms, I’m going to (at the very least) delete your comment, and (at most) hunt you down and stab your tongue with a fork.

Here’s my statement:

No one is getting rich off government assistance.

A lot of people bitch about people on government assistance.  And yes, I’m sure somewhere there are people that try and cheat the system or are a little lazy and would rather collect some assistance than find a job.  There are people who are not on the up and up everywhere.

In the same vain, there are incredibly rich people who cheat the system to not have to pay all of their fair share of their taxes?  Is one better than the other?

But before you all jump to conclusions, let me tell you how it really is.  I have at times had to seek public assistance.  I’m a bit humiliated by it, but I had to do what I had to do, when suddenly left with 3 kids to raise alone with no income and no child support at a particular point in my life.  I felt humiliated, defeated, depressed, and any other negative emotion you can name.  Major FAIL for me.

And as I had to go through the process, I thought… who in the hell would go through this just to get some extra cash?  You don’t just walk up to a window and get money, and it certainly ain’t no pile ‘o cash.  Let me break it down…

Have any of you ever been through the process?  Until you have gone to a Department of Social Services office, witnessed the process, seen the people, I would think twice about spouting off about the “hoards” of people living the life of luxury off the government.

I’ve been through the process twice and on both occassions, it went like this:

1. Drive to one location.  Walk in door, wait in line to go through security search and metal detector.   Then go over to stand in line at info desk.  when they get to you, tell your sordid story and they will give you the proper 18 page form to fill out and which line to go stand in next.  Go sit down and fill out the 18 pages which includes very detailed financial and personal info (I was expecting a cavity search to follow).  Go stand in another line for a good 15 minutes.   When you get up to the window, tell them your sordid story again, they will assess your needs and decide which people you need to see.  You are given a ticket with a number.  You go sit down and wait… anywhere from 1-3 hours.

2.  They finally call your number.  You go into an office with a worker.  Again you are asked to tell your sordid story.  Your answers on the form are scrutinized.  Who lives with you?  What is your income?  Are you legal?  Closest relatives?  Have you suffered from domestic violence?  …etc.  they calculate facts and figures.  Tell you what you might be eligible for.  Then they give you an appt. which is days later at another location.

3.  Days later… arrive at the other location for said “appointment” with all the documentation they have asked you for, Social Security cards for all in household, tax forms, paystubs, copy of lease, child support docs, unemployment docs, photo ID, urine sample, and pap smear results.  (not really on last two, but close)  Wait in line, go through security, listen to some very large loud woman arguing about “Listen bitch, I ain’t got nothin’ in ma purse gonna’ hurt nobody!”.  (true story)  After you finally get through, you are told to stand in a specific line for a window.  that wait in line is usually 30 minutes to 1 hour.  You finally get up to the window to say you had an appt., they hand you a ticket and you go sit and wait 1-3 hours for the appointment you were supposed to have an hour ago.

The wait involves screaming babies and toddlers, Mothers yelling at said offspring, people yelling on cell  phones, cranky people, bad body odor, too much perfume, and a metric ton of ass crack hanging out.  Your number is finally called.  You are yet again told to give your sordid story.  You are judged, you are questioned, you are scrutinized, your documents pored over.  They finally deem you worth or unworthy of different forms of assistance.  You are then sent back to the original location to be photographed and finger printed and to receive your benefits card.

4.  Oh it doesn’t end there, there are several follow up visits (that involve the same wait time), workshops, and forms that come in the mail to deal with and must be dropped back down at office in person.  Those 2 visits alone took up one entire day each, and were the most uncomfortable, uneasy thing I’ve ever had to go through.  All the other document wrangling and protocol is quite time consuming and stressful as well.

And all of that to receive $300 in foodstamps per month for a family of four.  I wasn’t able to get cash or rental assistance, which maybe tops out at $400-$700 a month.  For a family of four.  Could you live off that?  Do you still think people are living the “high life” off the government.  Even with assistance you are still living below the poverty ine.  And in some instances they told me I made too much on unemployment to qualify, in others told I didn’t qualify because I didn’t have a job.  Hello, that’s why I need assistance?

Now, I accepted having to endure all that in order to get assistance.  I desperately needed assistance.  I am extremely grateful for the assistance, I couldn’t have survived without it.  I sucked up my pride and had to do what I had to do.  But it just fries my ass when some of you think people would voluntarily go through that aggravating, time consuming, laborious process just for kicks!  What’s worse, the way they scrutinize your paperwork, and call and check with your employers and landlords, etc., I don’t see that it’s real easy to fudge your info.

Yes, yes I know maybe I’m naive, but I just don’t think there is this vast conspiracy of millions getting rich off the government.  An income of $800 a month does not make one rich.

However, I do agree that there may be some people who get used to the process and don’t go out of their way to find a way out of the cycle of poverty.  They are resigned to their lot in life.  But the government does try to put programs in place to encourage people to get a leg up.  However, when people start to bitch about let’s cut the spending to these welfare agencies, the first to go are the people and programs that try to give the less fortunate a “hand up, not a hand out” as Sargent Shriver once said.  It’s a vicious cycle.

So next time you want to spout off about the “throngs” of people living off the government, think of what I just wrote.  Just think first and get your facts straight.  Just think, please.


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