I don’t often have self-esteem issues. Pffft, who am I kidding, my whole life has been riddled with deep-seeded self-esteem-Daddy issues but you don’t need to know that. *ahem* I just need to convey that I’m fabulous, right?! People don’t want to hear the bad stuff, right? Keep it light, happy, upbeat! The only time when they want to hear your troubles is so they can feel superior to you, which won’t bring you closer to being their friend, but you’ll be a good punchline! After all that is why we watch “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” isn’t it?
I digress. I’ve never been one to worry about age… ever. I love my age and who I am. But lately in applying for jobs (a salaried job is a necessary accompaniment to freelance work) and new freelance opportunities, I am starting to have this sinking feeling that age is a factor. Maybe not so much that I’m old and useless and unhip, but more of I have so much experience in a wide variety of things, that they feel that “this broad is overqualified and just going to up and leave when a real career opportunity arises”. No no, I beg to differ, I can be just as young and useless as a 25 year old kid that comes in all hung over or argues with their boyfriend all day on the phone. I can do either or if you like! Oh, that wasn’t a dig at the youngsters, it just means that at every age there are pros and cons.
I’m chronologically older.
Cons – I have more experience, odds are you’ll have to pay me more. I have kids that will undoubtedly be sick or have a game I need to attend. I won’t take your bullshit, I will question you. I will be motivated to get promoted.
Pros – I have my shit together. I have experience. I’m not a drama queen. I can work independently, don’t need much training or hand holding. I’m motivated. When problems arise, chances are I’ve dealt with it in the past and know how to deal with it now. I am mature, if a problem arises, I’ll deal with it head on in a professional manner rather than bitch about it on Facebook. (eh I may do that in a covert way so damage will be done) I’m smart. Really smart. I am super creative. I will try to brighten your day with a laugh. I am woman, hear me roar.
Younger and/or inexperienced folk.
Cons – No or little experience. Sometimes immature and haven’t figured out how to be professional yet. Have not been around the block and seen how office politics works yet. May be distracted by social life or trying to get laid. May not be aware yet that being unreliable/late/lazy will get your ass canned. Young girls will want maternity leave at some point. May possibly wear clubbing clothes and stripper heels to work.
Pros – May possibly wear clubbing clothes and stripper heels to work. You can get away with paying them lower wages. They don’t often ask for benefits like health care since Mom and Dad still cover that, or they just don’t care because they think they are invincible. They may bring fresh ideas. They might have fresh lessons in their head from college. They have interesting stories and entertaining drama from their social life. (well that can be a con because I find most of that tedious and annoying)
So there you have it. That was in no way meant to say either age group is better. It just means don’t discount me because I’m older. I’m only 47 for Christ’s sake! To quote my favorite Monty Python movie, “I’m not dead yet!”. I’m not a curmudgeon, I’m more hip than you. So come at me, bro! Ermagard, I know all the latest memes. I’ve seen trends, been around long enough to see what works and what will fall flat on its face. I have a mature, professional manner and if I have a problem, I’ll discuss it rationally. I have nice cleavage. And you never know, I may have more interesting stories to tell at the water cooler. Little do you know, I keep a spare pair of panties in my purse. *wink wink* (ok so they are for possible incontinence problems and not sexy adventures but no one needs to know that)
When hiring, think outside the box and … HIRE MADGE!
Also, you’ll see I’ve installed a PayPal donation button at the top of the sidebar. If you invest in the book I am currently writing, “When Life Gives You Lemons… At Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!”, I’ll be sure to give a great big thank you on the Acknowledgements page in the book. Thanks! Love you kids!