Dating Guys Who Find Out I'm a Writer

First things first… I have a new book out!

Snap Out of It cover for KDP

It is a collection of my columns from Rochester Woman Magazine. Have some chuckles and food for thought. You can buy it here. You can also find my previous book here as well.


Now on to the subject of dating… again.

Whenever a guy I go on a date with finds out I’m a writer that writes about my everyday life, they say “So, are you gonna’ write about me?” I usually respond out loud joking, “Only if you plan on being an asshole!” Which is basically true. But most of the time the response in my head is “Don’t flatter yourself”.

I just think it’s a stupid question. I don’t know, maybe I’m the jerk but I just think it’s an awkward thing to say.  “Don’t flatter yourself”is really the gist of it. Especially when they ask me several times. Why in God’s name would I write about you? You’re the single most boring man I’ve ever been out with. However, commit an act of sheer assholery and you’re in like Flynn!

Funny, my friends never ask me to write about them. They never say “Hey you need to write about our crazy night at karaoke at the gay bar!” My girlfriends never say, “Why don’t you write about me and the cupcakes I bake?” Why? Because 1. They aren’t rude and 2. They don’t flatter themselves thinking that they are that interesting. (Even though they are that interesting)

Next we have the guy who endlessly suggests topics for me to write about. “You know what you should write about? You should write about why women lead men on?” Well, fella I don’t have to write about it, I’ll tell you right now, see… women are just being nice while they are out with you in the midst of figuring out that you are a complete douche-canoe. Then you ask them out again and they say no, or you text and they just don’t answer. Why because she just wasn’t feelin’ you. Or she just couldn’t take another minute of your miserableness.

Another one that I thoroughly enjoy is men suggesting subjects that I should write about that are not anywhere remotely near my realm of expertise. “Hey you should write about dating from a man’s point of view and how much we get screwed over!” Why not? Because 1. I’m not a man and 2. No. It’s my damn blog or column, I write from my point of view. Maybe I’d write about the other side if I had someone with something interesting to say. If you just want to bitch, get your own damn blog. And by the way dude, I know why you’re single, I don’t have to write a blog to investigate.

I liken it to me saying to them, “Hey you know what you should do at work? You should re-structure your management team so that there is not overlap in the… yada, yada, yada” I don’t analyze your work, be mindful not to analyze mine.

However, thanks to these overly helpful dudes I now have a new barometer for choosing the right man for me… one who doesn’t ask if I’m going to write about him.

12 thoughts on “Dating Guys Who Find Out I'm a Writer”

  1. Meredith

    I’m not even dating, and I still get most of these responses when I tell people what I do! My favorite though, is from my kids whenever I pull out the camera. “Are you going to put this on the blog?” They’re pretty cute about it, so I can’t be mad.

    • Madge Madigan Post Author

      hahaha My kids have stopped asking “Is that going in the blog?” They’re in college now and have learned I pretty much leave them alone. lol

  2. Ken Dowell

    Funny post. You’re probably intimidating these insecure dates. Though from the sound of it you probably don’t need to try to hard to do that.

  3. Doreen Pendgracs

    Hi Madge. I am a first time visitor and a fellow writer. Isn’t it crazy how people respond when we say we’re a writer? So many varied and often inappropriate responses. P.S, You can write about me anytime! I’m always looking to reach new eyes and new readers. 🙂

  4. patweber

    Seriously think it’s a guy thing. And that men mellow with this over time; at least this is my experience. In the past my husband MIGHT have asked ask you describe. These days (we’re married a LONG time!) he asks, “Does that make for interesting book/blog writing?”

  5. heraldmarty

    Interesting and definitely entertaining. I’ve been a writer my whole life and never had a guy ask me to write about him, which is probably a good thing because I’m not exactly known for being subtle, but I can certainly see why it would be annoying.

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