Wait, How Did I Start Watching Kangaroos Mating on TV?

31 Jul

Did you ever start watching something on TV, get a little sucked in, and then suddenly realize, “Why the hell am I watching this?!”

The man of the house was flipping channels and he stopped on a show which I never would have pegged him to watch. Oh wait maybe… oh yea, I see it now… see the title of the show was “Sex in the Wild.” So I get it now guy = sex. But anyway it was on a channel that he never ever watches – PBS. I think he thinks it’s a liberal commie pinko channel. lol (you know I’m kidding dear, kind of)

However, I think he was a little disappointed when he clicks on the station and on the screen appears a kangaroo giving birth. But ya’ know with some people sex is sex, and me being a mother I was a little interested. I didn’t want to see the baby coming out the birth canal (as was being shown) but I found it interesting what the narrative said about the process. Did you know that kangaroo joeys are about as big as a gerbil or hamster baby and after they come out they climb their way up the mother’s belly and into her pouch and incubate there for a while until they are done cooking.

That was all fine and good, then it got a little weird. First it showed the normal wildlife type scenes of the mating rituals of roos, you know hopping around, chasing, then finally the dude mounts the victim potential mate. All right. Then the narrator starts talking about the kangaroo penis and they show a diagram of what it looks like and how it enters the female’s vagina. Ew.

kangaroo-boxing-300x256

(This is all I want to see kangaroos do)

 

Then they show them humping and explain how the male is holding the female and thrusting her onto his… ya’ know. So, um I took a little walk to… any other room in the house but there. The man continues to watch and laugh.

When I come back they are showing koalas.  Awwww, how cute! So they show a little koala dude up in a tree and he starts making this bellowing sound, it sounded like Mr. Limpett’s noise combined with a Chewbacca cry. Apparently that’s his mating call. Fair enough. All of a sudden there is some vet showing this contraption and nearby there are a male and female beginning to mate on a tree (which  they go into great detail of the process). The next thing I know the doctor has delicately pulled the male off the female and inserts his private bits into this contraption. The next thing I know this vet is ummmm,  well manually uh gratifying the male into this basically fake vagina to collect his sperm! What What?!

koalas

(“Privacy please.”)

 

My first thought was, why in God’s name did someone give these people a grant to study koala sperm? Second thought, why are they studying koala sperm? And third, why the hell am I watching this?!

Because… science. I’m interested in stuff. Ok, I watch some of that stuff because I think I should, you know to get edumacated. But generally I do find it interesting. But, excuse my language… jerking off a koala is where I draw the line.

I can’t unsee that. And of course writing about it makes me relive it. And ok it’s a little funny, like funny odd, not necessarily funny haha. But it’s just… have you ever just started watching something like it’s a car accident? You want to look away but are oddly curious to see what happens? Much like an episode of Full House?  I felt that way about mating and childbirth but when it came to koala sperm harvesting, it was time to go to bed and read.

13 Responses to “Wait, How Did I Start Watching Kangaroos Mating on TV?”

  1. Tim July 31, 2014 at 5:11 pm #

    I have found myself in this questioning state many times. Why am I doing this, why am I watching this, why am I listening to this. The Why generally can be interpreted as an entertainment train wreck…and we all love those.

    • Madge Madigan July 31, 2014 at 5:20 pm #

      Absolutely “entertainment train wreck”, we all are susceptible.

  2. michelelobosco July 31, 2014 at 5:40 pm #

    I too, often find myself watching something and then after a short while, say…gee why am I watching this..or wow, this has taken a strange turn. On that note, we sure have quite the multitude of strange TV shoes – nowadays there are fish catching TV shows, garbage collecting shows, strange death shows…we are a strange society, that’s for sure!!
    Michele

    • Madge Madigan August 1, 2014 at 9:17 am #

      Yes, TV has taken a strange turn and as you say it mirrors society. lol I long for the days of 5 channels – ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, and the local UHF channel.

  3. Valentine Logar July 31, 2014 at 7:21 pm #

    I can honestly say I have never watched anyone masturbating a Koala, not once no not ever. I would like to say I would leave the room, but I don’t know maybe I would get sucked in and would have to stay to the end to see if either one of them light a cigarette afterward.

    • Madge Madigan August 1, 2014 at 9:18 am #

      It was a little disturbing, especially when the vet and host were practically moaning, “Oh that’s a good specimen, yea, yea, that’s good…” Ew.

  4. Max's Midway Marketplace July 31, 2014 at 9:21 pm #

    Hi; okay i’m blind and sometimes like in this situation its not always a bad thing. but then you had to go and describe it to me. thanks i have sat down in the living room where someone else has the remote and ended up getting interested in shows i have no interest in. but once you listen or watch for a given length of time its hard to stop. of course my not being alb to see is balanced out on car trips and time on the beach or near the pool. :) thanks for sharing i guess, max

  5. Duke Stewart August 1, 2014 at 5:40 am #

    This was hilarious. I think the same thing whenever a silly reality show is on tv. It’s ridiculous. But sometimes, I’ll sneak a peak here and there.

    • Madge Madigan August 1, 2014 at 9:20 am #

      Thanks. I know kind of like morbid curiosity but only… freakish curiosity. lol

  6. jacquiegum August 1, 2014 at 6:06 am #

    Yep…I get sucked in by The Real Housewives series…train wreck,, can’t turn away, deep shame. And then I watch it the next week! Sigh!

    • Madge Madigan August 1, 2014 at 9:21 am #

      I know the Real Housewives are my guilty pleasure until they just keep going in circles about the same subject while yelling at each other, then I turn it off.

  7. Ken Dowell August 1, 2014 at 11:53 am #

    I can’t say I’m sorry I missed that one.

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