So today the new outfits that the 2014 USA Olympic Team will don in the opening ceremonies were revealed.
Ralph Lauren has done it again. Part of me kind of likes it in a funky way. The leggings and boots. Somehow I knew there would be leggings this year. But that ugly ass sweater? Is that what someone found while digging through racks at Goodwill looking for an ugly Christmas sweater?
And it reminds me of these 2 shitty jackets from Wilson Leather in the early 90’s, that by wearing it got you a first class ticket to Loserville…
Couple those with a pair of MC Hammer pants from Merry Go Round or Chess King and you were stylin’! (Young folks you may want to Google those, they were old cheesy men’s clothing stores that were staples in every mall in the 70s and 80s)
So it prompted me to look up some of the more hideous Olympic Opening Ceremony outfits of the past…
2004 Olympics in Athens
What the hell inspired this design? “Hey let’s see what the kids on Nickelodeon are wearing?”
1988 Olympics in Seoul
Perhaps they got the wrong “soul”, just add a gold rope chain, Kangol hat and boombox…
1984 Olympics in Los Angeles
Such a trendy place, that L.A. I would have thought they’d come up with something more fashionable than a Burger King employee uniform…
1928 Olympics in Amersterdam
I guess they stuck with the laid back drug adled theme of Amersterdam and went with a Bathrobe/lab coat style.
1972 Olympics in Munich
Let’s face it, everything in 1972 was that ugly.
1968 Olympics in Mexico City
This badass team had soul. Solid! Coincidentally the singing group “Color Me Bad” would try to resurrect this look later but it looked a little more… jive-ass.
2012 Olympics in London
This is some flight-attendant-meets-Symbionese-Liberation-Army bullshit. I say pip pip cheerio to those uniforms…
1984 Olympics in Sarajevo
The sign in front says it all. Yea, I know “Dallas” had been popular on TV for a few years but give me a break with the hokiness.
1996 Olympics in Atlanta
Modeled after the Von Trapp Family, apparently…
1976 Olympics in Innsbruck
Equipped with drool bib. Or for others seeking a hand towel.
Why can’t all Olympic opening ceremony outfits look like they did in 1930’s-1950’s
Classic and timeless. But then if they were I guess I’d have nothing to write about, correct? And the opening ceremonies wouldn’t be a ratings boosting comical spectacle of bad fashion and instead would be more of a dignified walk to honor competing athletes and their nations. would they?
Good luck to all those competing in Sochi in 2014 in 2 weeks. Let’s hope Putin doesn’t F it up and have another 1972 Munich games on his hands. God forbid.