Sexting Scrapbooking Group, Now Accepting New Members!

14 Nov

(Just and aside this Friday and Saturday (starting at midnight tonight) my new book “I Got Yer Haiku Right Here” will be a FREE ebook download on Amazon.com, check out my other book “When Life Gives You Lemons… at Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!” while you’re there)

As most of you may know I’ve been divorced for almost 13 years now.  There’s been a lot of dating and entanglements with men in that time.   Some of you who haven’t been in the dating seen for many years might not be aware of all the wonderful new nuances of dating.  Some of you younger folks, don’t know anything different.

Those of us say over 35, maybe only over 40, remember a time when you went out into the world and met real people and if you clicked, a boy asked for the girl’s number.  Then the girl would sit around and wait for the phone to ring at home… no cell phones, no answering machines, no computers, no call waiting.  Or unless you were a freak and answered a personal ad in the back page of the Village Voice and sent a letter to a P.O. Box and waited several days for a response… that too.

Teenager looking at red phone

(For those of you who don’t know… this is what phones used to look like, they were plugged into a wall at home or business)

So nowadays, you can meet people online, solicited or unsolicited and sometimes never ever meet them.  There are people that carry on entire virtual relationships for years and never meet.  This is a perfect solution for those that suffer from social awkwardness or insecurity because of weight, ugliness or some other malady.  I mean really, if you are content to never have a physical encounter with someone because you can’t bear to face the world, the world’s your oyster right now!

Which brings me to another virtual “dating” tool… texting or otherwise electronically sending pictures.  Show of hands, how many women have received unsolicited dick pics out there?   Ok, too many to count.  Now, how many women have been asked to send pics of themselves to a man (or woman, we don’t judge here)?  Again, too many to count.  How many of you women, send pics will-nilly to said men?  Ok maybe not willy-nilly, but you’ve sent them?

sexting

Here’s my thing, and it’s probably not what you think.  No, I’m not disgusted… however, unsolicited pics of one’s junk is not a turn on for me.  I can’t say even solicited ones are.  Ok, maybe out of curiosity, I wonder what your junk looks like but it doesn’t suddenly make a deal when there wasn’t one.  It’s just more like car wreck curiosity.  And I highly highly advise against sending pics to someone who you aren’t in a relationship with, especially a stranger, you never know where that will end up.  You may end up all over the internet, or in some collage on a serial rapist/killers basement apartment wall.  However, if you really feel the need, don’t include your face in the pic, for God’s sake.

Oh, so wait, I still didn’t tell you my thing.  So say, you meet a guy that lives far away or you reconnect with someone from your past that lives far away.  Like I lived in Denver now I live in NY and I run into someone on Facebook I used to know there.  Whatever.  Not that this has really happened.  *ahem*  So, you get flirty in texts or whatever… then they ask for pics.  You get carried away, it’s a little exciting at first.  Sending pics of you in your sexiest dress or lingerie.  You get a shirtless pic of him and he’s not an old man with moobs, sweet!  And maybe you get coerced into showing a little more skin… and then you get asked for more pics.  I’m not saying you keep sending pics but he keeps asking for them.

And more pics.

And more pics.

Days, weeks, months, years go by of the guy asking for pics.  It is demeaning.  He can never get enough pics but makes no effort to meet.  And I’m like, is this desire between us ever going to get fulfilled, like in person, not over the phone or computer?  Like skin on skin?  Not yet, you want more pics?  Uh…. yea.  I’m kinda’ over this.  Bo… ring.

And no, he’s not married.  He doesn’t have a girlfriend.  We know mutual people.  Maybe he is taken, but he talks a good game of wanting to get together but can’t pull the trigger, so to speak.  Whatever the case is… why are guys perfectly satisfied with getting pics for the rest of their life?  What are y’all like scrapbooking that shit or something?  I can see you all gathering at Joe’s house, bringing your scrapbook material… “Oh I’m using the crimping shears on this one!  Look how nice it is on an orange background! Does anybody have a ‘Hot Stuff’ or palm  tree sticker?”  WTF?

mycolonoscopy

(Not sex, but an example of what a man’s scrapbook might look like)

I’m sorry to me, that stuff gets old real quick.  I need the real thing.  I call your bluff.   Pics or sexting as a form of very short foreplay is ok.  Pic trading as an ongoing form of a relationship?  No thanks.  As my Mother has said her whole life in answer to many situations… “Shit or get off the pot”.  That is pretty much my motto for everything in life.  I’m a doer… not because I have irritable bowel syndrome, I just need to get things underway, make a move, give it a try.

So, can anyone tell me why men do this?  Has anyone ever encountered a woman doing this?  I just want to know what men’s fascination with pics are and why they could be perfectly satisfied with only pics.  Any other women feel this way or is it just me?  Maybe I’m the freak?  Hmmmm…

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12 Responses to “Sexting Scrapbooking Group, Now Accepting New Members!”

  1. Maggie November 14, 2013 at 10:19 am #

    You’re a freak. But I know the way you feel so I guess I am too! I had “a situation” with a married guy who claimed to have the hots for me for years before obtaining my number and texting anonymously until I refused to text back unless he told me who he was. I’ve also had numerous unsolicited penis shots. Alll close-ups…gotta’ fill up the frame you know. Sexting can be intense and kind of addictive…ahem, not for ME of course but the element of mystery is kind of a turn-on. However, like you, I think the real thing eventually
    becomes necessary.

    • Madge Madigan November 14, 2013 at 10:34 am #

      Oh right right, not that we ever went there but you know, I totally feel you on needing the real thing. Ya’ know, if that ever happened. (P.S. you know me too well all these years, I am a freak)

  2. lilbillybaroo November 14, 2013 at 11:46 am #

    I’m uncomfortable with pics, personally, sharing commenting, etc…
    I know with men that I work with and even friends say it makes it less real, and more like a stranger, or just without that added intimacy of eye contact, smell, or even just feeling that other persons body warmth from proximity.
    I think this disconnect doesn’t effect the esteem issues a lot of men go through and don’t talk about, so if they can avoid it in their sex life it doesn’t compound and effect their confidence in their day to day routine and work life.
    Personally I can’t do long distance romance or relationships, I have to have that tactile connection in order for me to sustain interest.
    I can’t hold a hold a pictures hand, smell it’s breath, or feel its cold feet on my legs at night…

    • Madge Madigan November 14, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

      Wait I’m a little confused… it does or doesn’t effect the esteem issues? Men have esteem issues? They act all horny but don’t want to close the deal because they’re insecure or something? I don’t get it…

      • lilbillybaroo November 15, 2013 at 12:14 pm #

        A lot of men I know prefer a long distance or internet relationship over a proximal one for intimacy reasons.
        They’re not able or motivated for whatever reason to have a sustained relationship that has easily accessible physical access.
        Hell I can’t figure out a reason other then they like whipping their monkey more then the actual thing or they just don’t want anything that may interfere with there career path or work routine.
        I know some oddballs that don’t want the added pressure of constant sex or intimacy.
        If I’m in the mood I just block the bravo channel on cable…

  3. Jacqueline Gum (Jacquie) November 14, 2013 at 3:18 pm #

    So I’m not the only one….. hmmmmm. Have had a few of these guys who want pics and pics and pics, but no real face to face. My thing is now if they don’t agree to meet after I’ve sent three pictures, I quit talking to them. Who has time for that crap? LOL

  4. Glynis Jolly November 15, 2013 at 9:26 am #

    You’re not a freak. This is my personal opinion based on zero experience with electronic ‘dating’ though. I’m way over 40 and headed toward 60. My theory is that most men are scared out of their wits by women. I was the one to ask my-now-husband out the first time and I’m disabled. What did he have to fear from me? Have you seen the movie ‘Failure to Launch’? If not, I recommend it.

    I liked my days as a single parent despite all the financial worries along with the questions about how my son was going to turn out. I liked the control I had over my life even though I made millions of mistakes over that 12 year period. You may want to reassess your reasons to be part of a couple.

  5. Jon Jefferson November 15, 2013 at 10:52 am #

    This shows the difference between men and women. Men are visual creatures. The pics for them are like the emotional connection women need.

    But after a time if they aren’t closing the deal, something else is going on. More often than not they are doing this with multiple women to stroke their ego. Or they have a significant other and to them this isn’t cheating.

    When the connections there, if they are going to close the deal, they will make strides to close the deal. It isn’t something they wait too long to do. Men have physical needs just like women do.

  6. Susan Cooper/findingourwaynow.com November 15, 2013 at 1:42 pm #

    I don’t think I would survive in today’s dating world. I am way over forty and very happily married. That said, I just don’t get the sexting thing. If a guy needs more a more pictures make me believe it’s not about you but something weird thing going on. About the scrape book thing? That would be hoot to see wouldn’t it… or maybe not. :-)

  7. Claire Cappetta November 15, 2013 at 7:25 pm #

    I’m with Susan! Thank god I’m married I would definitley not make it today dating. When I met my husband10 years ago there were no cell phones with picture capability and they certainly were tough long distance… 3K miles and an ocean.
    I say this, if you want the goods you gotta want the mind cos sorry honey but that’s first on the list! If you cant rev up my mind, you ain’t going to see nowhere else! lol

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