Just a short one today, I’m out of my mind busy. Lots of projects and I’ve been in and out of doctor’s offices and hospitals all week with a daughter with a jacked up back which was first diagnosed as a kidney infection but is not… don’t get me started.
I was looking at some items online that were written by 20 something year old girls about dating. I already knew this but women of different ages are vastly different. Yes, yes there are exceptions to every rule but I also know that I thought I knew it all when I was in my 20′s but I was really pretty unknowing and immature. And I’m sure by the time I’m 60 I’ll think I was kind of stupid in my 40′s. So, whatever I’ll write another blog then…
So as a public service, I just want to give all you men a quick guide for women below 40 and above 40, give or take 5-7 years. I will henceforth refer to below 40 women as B40 and women above 40 as A40.
* When a B40 woman says “Just leave me the hell alone!” to a man it really means, “You better chase after me or I’ll be even more pissed than I am now. When an A40 woman says it she means, “Just leave me the hell alone!”.
* When a B40 woman says to a man, “Oh that was so nice of you!” she really means it. When an A40 woman says it she really means, “Wow, you just did as little as humanly possible to please me, didn’t you?”
* When an A40 woman walks through a crowd, she says “Excuse me” to get by. A B40 woman just whacks you with her handbag and keeps going.
* When a B40 woman says to a guy, “I can go all night!” she really means it and she does. When an A40 woman says it she means “If it’s good I’ll stay up, if it’s bad I’ll either just fall asleep or fake it just to get you off me so I can leave”
* When a B40 woman says, “I’ll be there in half an hour” she means she’ll be there in and hour. When an A40 woman says it, she means “Ill be there in an hour” Hey, somethings don’t ever change.
* When a guy says to a B40 woman, “I’ll love you forever” she believes it. When a guy says it to an A40 woman, she says “Ok” but thinks “Uh yea, or until something younger, prettier, or more entertaining comes along or until I become a bitch because I’m tired of you”
* When a B40 woman asks a guy “Do you have a girlfriend?” and he says no, she believes him. When an A40 woman asks the same question and he says no, she then knows to ask “Ok, so then do you have a wife? A fiancee? A lover? A friend with benefits? Are you separated?…” and so on because she knows he could be apt to use the loophole after she finds out he’s taken of “Well you didn’t ask me that!”
* When a guy tells a B40 woman “I don’t have a job right now, I live with my parents.”, she says “Oh that’s ok, I’ll buy”. When an A40 woman hears that, she politely says “I need to use the bathroom” and never comes back, never looks back, and runs very far away.
You learn things as you get older. Well then again I know some women who don’t ever learn. But more often than not we become wiser… and perhaps a little bit jaded. Sometimes I wish I still had the optimism I did in my 20′s but I’m glad I have the wisdom and experience of 40 something. I can’t wait to see what I write at 60. :)